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A Tantric Sex Surrogate explains how to increase intimacy for more powerful orgasms

sex-tips-from-a-tantric-sex-surrogate-mare-simone

In the vast and Cosmo-flavored world of sex tips, there’s an overabundance of technical advice in circulation.

Touch her g-spot like so. Try the corkscrew blowjob. Put a pillow under your ass.

That kind of stuff.

Yet, there’s next to nothing out there that offers advice on how to build the intimacy that makes those techniques actually work. After all, you can only trace the alphabet on someone’s prostate so well without the viable emotional connection that makes it really fucking good … regardless of how fleeting that connection may be.

That’s a problem that Mare Simone solves every day in her practice. Simone is a certified tantric educator, sex surrogate and author who helps men and women learn to clear emotional and physical sexual blocks and view sex as an empowering, helpful tool. Part of that work includes instructing couples and individuals on how to build and maintain intimacy during sex, partially because the ability to create intimacy leads to greater confidence, and partially because more powerful orgasms happen from what she describes as a more “open, vulnerable state.”

Never ones to shy away from anything that makes us come more professionally, we asked her for some tips on how to create the intimate connection that primes us for a better bang.

Become a pro at eye contact

“I love to start couples facing each other, sitting up,” Simone says. “I have them talk about what they love about each other,  what they’d love more of, and what they’d love to experience with each other (like a fantasy or a desire) … all while looking into each other’s eyes and breathing those words in. When you maintain eye contact while talking about sexual desires, it really builds intimacy before the touch, which makes the actual touch more powerful when it does happen. Sometimes when you verbalize what you love or need, it can feel vulnerable or naked. But, it allows you to become open and let love, pleasure and acknowledgement in. That makes for really great sex.”

She also recommends incorporating eye contact into actual sex as well.

“Anytime you touch, touch with eye contact. Make love with your eyes open. It’s so rich … it feels like you’re diving deep into this pool and not shutting your eyes because you’re afraid of what’s at the bottom,” she adds.

But, it’s not like you have to keep your peepers wrenched open A Clockwork Orange-style; she fully acknowledges that there are times when it feels right to close them and sink into pleasure. In general though, she explains that the more eyes-open you are, the more connected you can be and the more powerful orgasms you can have.

“There’s a penetration of sorts that happens with eye contact,” she says. “And it can be really intense when you’re also having sex — it’s like you’re being penetrated from both sides.”

Experiment with face and hand caressing

“This, to me is one of the most beautiful things,” Simone says. “I love hand holding, hand touching, those sort of things. And sometimes when someone touches my face, it just feels so warm and giggly and sweet, like it activates some part of my inner child. That in itself is opening.”

One of the best positions she recommends for hand stuff is to have one partner place their hand downwards, and the other placing theirs upwards on top so they can feel the polar opposite of the other person. Then, from there, Simone suggests you play around with movement in your hands and fingers by stroking each other’s palms, wrists and fingertips. Even though doing this is nonverbal, Simone says it can help couples explore a lot of communication and sensation with each other; something that also works to build sexual tension and make each person feel more connected.

Long, caressing strokes to build tension

Simone is a big advocate of the long, slow, delicate stroke.

“Have one person put their hands up and receive their partner’s touch, while the other caresses their body. Start slowly at their face and, then make your way down the sides of their arms to their chest, finally finishing at their fingertips. Then, with permission, caress their breasts (if they have them), coming down across their stomach to their inner thighs.

Making these long, caressing strokes connects the body to the mind, which makes it much more emotional-feeling,” she says. “That’s where you become really open and the sex becomes really good. When you do this, you become vulnerable, so there’s no real game playing or social scripting of traditionally “sexy” roles. It’s just what you mean and what you feel.”

Do a little dance

On the more erotic end of the spectrum, Simone recommends you build tension and intimacy by dancing for your partner. It can be a sitting dance, or one standing up; a stripping thing or a more conservative one — whatever feels comfortable and gives your partner a display of your body. Of course, maintaining eye contact during the deed can make it that much more powerful.

If you crack up, you crack up. Try not to — we double dog dare you. Even if it’s the more masculine doing the dancing, Simone says the humor of it can cut through to the more relaxed, vulnerable place that makes the body more open for intimacy.

Moan together, in sync

“This can be immense if you can actually harmonize your orgasms,” Simone says. “But even if you can’t, sharing the same breath and sound intensifies things a lot. In tantra, energy moves on sound, so you double the energy when you sound together.”

That’s not to say that spontaneously moaning when your partner does will make you come or make the sex revolutionary … it’s more about doing it when it feels natural to. But, like all forms of breathing exercises, it does really place you in the moment. It’s hard to think about their sweaty, lumbering man boobs or the curious way your dad tries to tell you he loves you when you’re synchronizing your breath with someone while they squirt on your showiest throw pillows.

Sex | Rooster Magazine On-Line December 21, 2016 By Isabelle Kohn

 

Marie Claire: Lessons From my Sex Therapist

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Sex is the Least of it – True, Moving Stories of 25 Surrogate Partners

Sex is the Least of it

Sex Is the Least of It

Sex is the Least of it

I felt honored when Tova Feder, PhD asked if I would be willing to be interviewed for this book: Sex Is The Least of It, is available on Kindle and Amazon.com! Soon to be in print!

It reveals the inner story of 25 surrogates lives. Inside and out both professionally and personally. There I tell my story of how I became a sex surrogate partner and why along a few of my favorite success stories!

This has been a long labor of love, bringing the stories of nearly 30 surrogate partners internationally to print.
Since the release of the film The Sessions, the time has finally come for a greater understanding of the importance of holistic sexual health which Sex Surrogate Partners can help provide. I am honored to be interviewed for this book and excited by the positive response it has received so far… hopeful for the future of ‘touch therapy’ and the position it is earning in the role of sex therapy and higher sex education!
Thanks to Tova for taking on this task and thanks to all our readers and participants for making this breakthrough method more accepted and wide-spread!  Bringing this vision to fruition so others can learn the true purpose and power of touch therapy. To help educate the public about the invaluable work of surrogate partners and the life-changing benefits of SPTherapy.
 
The concept of surrogate partners grew out of the work of Masters and Johnson in the mid-1960s. Their initial research centered on understanding and improving the sex lives of married couples. Eventually their work addressed the issue of helping un-partnered individuals treat their sexual dysfunction. As necessity is the mother of invention, they recruited an untrained group of women to aid these single individuals in resolving their sexual problems. Masters and Johnson created a mechanical approach to sexuality, devoid of emotional intimacy.
This book seeks to present the human face of a profession that has been shrouded in myths, misconceptions, and negative judgments. Rather than hearing the words of sexual robots, the participants reflect competence, intelligence, compassion, and wisdom. It is a profession that requires the ability to think and feel; to analyze and participate; to become emotionally involved yet maintain professional boundaries.
Over the past four decades, surrogate partner therapy has grown to combine social therapeutic modalities in addition to sexual therapeutic techniques. This book utilizes, in part, the approach of interviewing 25 current and former surrogate partners to examine, compare, and contrast their experiences. It seeks to present the skills of surrogates as opposed to the sexual sensationalism which clouds objective evaluation of the subject. In addition to the interviews there are several relevant articles and links to documentaries including the one I was in on The Discovery Channel, Strange Sex, being used with permission, exploring the work of other surrogates.

PE to PIE! – Tantra PIE!

Passion Immersion Experience is a deep, fully immersed experience of private coaching and guidance into your personal realms of inner-peace, pleasure and passionate empowerment.

We are all motivated to either move towards pleasure or away from pain. Living in your passion means focusing on what you want, instead of what you don’t want. Passion brings desire and juice that fuels your journey. With passion you can be recharged with exhilarating energy, from your core.

We have all been taught to constrict and limit our pleasure potential. Here you will learn to expand your horizons by releasing whatever holds you back so that you can embrace pleasure and bathe in its sweetness.

This journey will focus on immersing you in all total presence with passion and pleasure we can arouse with an intense focus on your receiving until you are fully immersed in bliss! It’s a renewal experience, like a total cleaning of your body and mind. Creating more space for pleasure is like a full-body reboot which awakens and aligns you with your center.

Being centered and fully present in your body heart and mind provides the greatest opportunities for enormous growth and profound intimacy. Feeling seen and seeing deeply into one another. From that state you will learn how to empower your partner with pleasure…

Women have a vast capacity to dive deep into the realms of unlimited pleasure and multiple O’s. Trained men have this ability too. Most of us never learned how to enjoy intimate and erotic pleasures. And most men need training to be able to ride high waves for a long time!

Explore the inner/outer game of sexual-self-mastery and be filled with powerful rejuvenating energies!

Passion Immersion Experience Menu:
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Half day Passion Immersion Experience – 3 hr session & snacks $700

Full-day Passion Immersion Experience- 6 hr session & meal $1197

3-day PIE Passion Immersion Experience & some meals $2997

Healthy meals prepared by my loving hands. Some co-created meals to promote the value of getting rich nutrition for a radiant high libido lifestyle.

**Sexy Super Foods** – Nourishment is an important part of the practice. We will prepare food and eat consciously with highly nutritional, yet yummy super foods that nourish our bodies and give us potent fuel that will enable us to sustain prolonged and heightened states of pleasure-filled energy.

All sessions include a followup phone or Skype session.
Contact me for a complementary consultation and to reserve your space at MareSimone@gmail.com.

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Mare Simone A,CTE is a Personal Passion Coach certified in advanced levels of Tantra and Sexual Healing. She is an Advanced Certified Tantra Educator and also certified as a Sex-Surrogate Partner. For full bio click here.

The Sessions – Movie

And What’s it’s Really Like To See a Sex Surrogate

I was certified and began my practice as a Sex Surrogate in 1987. It was a parting gift from my former husband to pay for my training. I now utilize a combination of traditional sex surrogate sensate focus type exercises with techniques which I draw from tantra which raises orgasmic energy to a full-body event.

While auditioning for a sequel to the documentary, The Virgin School, I was informed that “The Sessions“, formerly called “The Surrogate” was soon to be released.  It was already getting rave reviews at the film festivals and I’m sure it will be nominated for Academy awards. I watched the trailers with eager anticipation, I couldn’t wait to see it.  I was already in love with this movie before it hit the theaters!

At the first opportunity I saw it with 2 of my best girlfriends who also provide sex and relationship coaching via tantra and other tools.

We were all moved to tears throughout watching this documentary especially knowing that it’s based on a true and heartwarming story from the autobiographical writings of California-based journalist and poet, Mark O’Brien, who was disabled from polio when he was a child. In his 30’s he yearned to experience sex with a woman. The involuntary emissions he experienced when bathed by his caretaker; did nothing more than humiliate him due to his lack of control. He couldn’t even physically masturbate to satisfy himself. Can you imagine the frustration of being unable to touch your self to relieve an itch let alone a sexual desire! Upon asking his priest for advice he saw a sex therapist who referred him to see a Sex Surrogate.

The movie revealed deep sentiments, emotions, challenges and the complications that come with being physically handicapped. Plus it
gave us an exhilarating glimpse of the triumphs that can occur with such a powerful therapeutic support system as in a Sex Surrogate  therapy model. This profession was developed by Masters and Johnson – sex therapists and researchers, to help their patients develop sexual confidence and skills as well as transform sexual trauma; by practicing with a skilled, compassionate and supportive partner. Traditionally there are 12 or more sessions needed, or an intensive weekend depending upon the needs of the client. The first half is about building a safe foundation with good communication and intimacy skills.  The second half are more focused on sexual practices and explorations which sometimes though not always, culminate in sexual intercourse.

The final session is traditionally a completion ceremony which is a celebration with gift-giving, acknowledgments and appreciation.

In the film only 6 sessions were allowed, I suppose It’s to avoid emotional attachments to one another, but they did become rather fond of one another that she suggested that they end it abruptly after just 4 sessions.

Mission accomplished. He was no longer a virgin. And he did come to know a women in “the biblical sense” and he was certainly better equipped to experience love with another woman, which apparently happened for the last years of his life.  I’d like to read his journals which he typed holding a stick with his teeth to press upon the keys. Amazing, determination to be self expressed!

What I learned from being a sex surrogate is invaluable and I would recommend this service [and profession] to anyone who wants to learn and practice love and intimacy skills in order to become a better lover with greater confidence and knowledge. I have seen many men and women transform their lives for the better by learning how to express their love physically and emotionally. Being their partner in this process and to hold and support them while they heal and awaken is such an honor for me; and a blessing for all. The process naturally creates a deep intimate and safe foundation for powerful shifts and growth opportunities. And although it can get messy in the midst of emotional release and rebirthing, I believe it’s the quickest and most effective way to heal the emotional and sexual wounding caused by abuse, rape, incest, shame and other violations that interfere developing a healthy sexual life.

Knowing the profession as I do, I wish they portrayed a more conscious model of ending the relationship rather than the drama of the surrogate running away to hide her emotions.To me that’s the most pinnacle part of the relationship is learning to and while maintaining conscious love connection. But that’s Hollywood’s version of the story.

In my surrogate practice our last session was a celebration of gratitude for the intimate times we shared. Our last meeting would be often dinner together to close the ties gracefully and wish each other well. Parting tears was a natural side of a healthy process of breaking up. Working so intimately with a sex surrogate, opens many doors and in some cases wounds from the past much like in a real love relationship will surface in order to be healed.

I am often asked the question about what happens if a client falls in love with me or in the event that a mutual love connection occurs between myself and clients. Traditional therapy refers to this as transference and to be avoided. But from my experience it’s part of the process of learning to love and practicing with someone who’s willing to open their heart as well as their body and soul to access the transformational power of intimate love. As long as they don’t ‘fall’ too deep, it can be a valuable part of the process of opening to love. This process which can trigger mutual feelings of vulnerability so it must be treated with extra sensitivity. I have tasted the bitter sweetness of bonding deeply with someone who’s life transformed before my eyes. And have been on both side of the journey so I know how important it is to be treated with care and grounded, supportive love so that profound growth is the outcome.

“Leave them better than you found them…” is a quote my mentor Charles Muir has often said to me and others he trains to be love coaches in his Source School of Tantra. which I am also an advocate of is very similar in many ways to the practice of Sex Surrogacy. They both deal with improving one’s intimate and sexual skills and help people better express their love. I feel blessed to be adept in both areas and am so happy that this service is finally coming out into the light with dignity and respect.,

Director:

Ben Lewin

Writer:

Ben Lewin (screenplay)

Stars:

John Hawkes, Helen Hunt and William H. Macy | See full cast and crew

The Sessions, a film by an Australian film-maker husband and wife duo, has taken $267,000 at the box office in its opening weekend.

Written and directed by Ben Lewin and produced by his wife Judi Levine, The Sessions is inspired by a true story and and follows man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity to a professional sex surrogate.

The Fox-distributed film was awarded winner of the Audience Award at the Sundance Film Festival this year.

 

The Power of Love, as Expressed by the Darling’s on TLC-TV!

The Power of Love, as expressed by the Darlings on TLC-TV!

Monique and her amazing husband Nate Darling are both so open to transform and evolve her love life, that it is a great honor to work with them. They are such an inspiration and joy to witness. They’re a shining example of the healing and transformational powers of love.

She comes from such a warm heart space that anyone who experiences her is immediately put at ease and present to receive her gifts. As a receiver as well as a qualified coach herself, she teaches us how to get the most out of the process of healing our past by saying yes to love, even when fear is lurking. She is so loving and leads with her heart that, success comes easy.

Nate is also wonderfully willing to be transparent and vulnerable in his process, that he helps others through his courage and strength to see that opening to more love and intimacy is a profoundly transforming event. Their example is a gift to everyone that has the opportunity to experience them.

The best way to learn is through experience. They so bravely revealed their personal process in learning to love more on TLC-TV with me — so many benefited and learned vicariously through their courage.

Since then I have been flooded with calls from other couples and individuals who are inspired to open the door to discover the possibilities of more love and pleasure that are available to them as well!

We will post a recording of the show for those who missed it, as soon as we receive it from the network

Documenting this work with the Darlings for TV and all the supportive comments from all our friends, has inspired me to continue working with them gratis to further their progress; and to offer this opportunity to other couples at no charge in exchange for the opportunity to document their process as well.

It is so valuable to witness another having an authentic shift, that I want to create an entire documentary on the transformational power of love and authentic intimacy.

Seeking support and other coaches who are interested in this Documentary project. Please contact me if you are interested. Or if you know couples who would like to be a part of this project and get coaching for free!

Kudos to the front-lines! Thanks for everyone for their encouraging support!

Candid shot during the shooting of Strange Sex with ‘The Bedroom Coach’ [their term] and the Darlings

Great interview that made me cry in Dec 09′ issue of UK’s womens’ “Love It”

After the onslaught of being a misquoted media darling last year [9/15/09] thanks to The Sun, I was relieved and honored to be interviewed, for another UK magazine called, Love It”!

I will post a copy here ASAP!

If you have access to this article and can FAX or SEND it to me, I will give you a free 60 min consultation by phone, Skype or in person!!!

Although “Love It” it doesn’t get the same exposure as The Sun does,  because it is not an online publication; I was very happy for the opportunity to clarify and define the facts about my work and education as a Sex Surrogate/educator/activator.

The article was very favorable, though I haven’t seen a copy of it yet… the reporter read it to me over the phone. I was moved to tears of joy to hear her version of my story which was clearly respected and represented me in a light that made me feel validated and elated!

I love my work and the people that I am able to work with and so I cherish the opportunity to express and educate others about sexual enlightenment  in a way that gives them an accurate picture of what I offer and the types of conditions that I have been able to help people improve upon.

While I wait for the magazine to arrive at my doorstep, so that I can post it here on my blog; I invite you to view it on the magazine stands in the UK.

For the 1st 2 who FAX me a copy — you get a FREE 30 min phone or Skype session with me!

The Truth Beyond The Sun

Tabloids exaggerate and tell crazy numbers about interesting stories, to get attention. Now that’s just fine with me as long as I get to tell the true side of the story, for those who look past the sensationalism and into what’s really true. 

So what inspired this blog post is that I want people to get to know the real me, beyond the tabloid that spread my name worldwide, overnight, in an a less than desirable way . At the time, I was outraged that my personal life had been so distorted and exposed to the world.  I was bombarded by the media with tons of requests for interviews, TV shows and documentaries. I declined many of them because the intimate nature of my work was personal and private. I couldn’t see it going public. But now I feel blessed and am grateful that I had the exposure.  It certainly opened up a lot of doors for me, however, I just wish it was better now, because it turned my life upside down.

When the the feature article came out in The Sun, I went undergrouond, in the desert, I wanted to make certain that I would be fairly represented because of what I really offer and how profoundly people’s lives are transformed spiritually,sexually, & emotionally because of it.

Inside Edition wanted to interview me, which I thought was great, but only if they got the right angle.  They wanted me to have a client on the show and I wanted to be sure that that would be a safe and respectable environment for her. I had a great female client in mind to show another view of my work and its importance for women.  I thought it would redirect attention towards providing women with profound sexual transformations,  a service that is much needed by many women who have had sexual abuse in their past. 

She was a victim of marital rape who eventually left her husband in spite of restrictions of her religion. It would’ve been a great example for other women.  For some reason,I never got called back after correcting the lies in the article below — which is astounding because is it not equally, if not, more important of a story? I hope to have the opportunity to present this meaningful and profound healing aspect of my work with both men and women.

 

Here’s what The Sun said — Along with my commentary:

The Sun:  This woman has had sex with more than a thousand men – and most of them are the husbands or boyfriends of other women.

My comment: In truth, I don’t have sex with clients unless it is the appropriate action to assist him in healing or learning and refining his sexual experience as part of a Sex Surrogate Partner package. If he’s married, it would be ideal to have his wife’s approval, but even better, her participation. I love helping couples love & please one another better.  Working with Tantra, there are many ways to exchange sexual energy.  Many of which do not involve any exchange of sexual fluids or intercourse.   When I was practicing as a sex surrogate, I worked as part of a therapy team, usually with a psychologist or psychiatrist on board.  We worked on his entire well-being including his  intimacy and sexual skills.  Occasionally intercourse was a part of their training to help them to hone their skills, become fully integrated and ready for their significant other.

On a few occasions I worked with virgins who came to me to learn and have their first experience.  In these cases,I would have intercourse with the client as their initiation. After several sessions,as the culmination of a series in the art of love and pleasure.

In some ancient cultures from India and several other countries, at the age of puberty, every young man and woman would have a private sexual educator to educate and assist them in their sexual development.  I think all men could benefit from such education and introduction to sex at any age. It’s never too late to start, as long as you’re willing to expand your points of view, tantra can work for anyone of any age. The more evolved you are when you begin, the higher you can soar!

 

The Sun : Mare Simone, calls herself a “sex surrogate” and has devoted her working life to helping men, women, and couples overcome problems in the bedroom.  As a qualified sex surrogate, she has given lessons in love to more than 10,000 clients over the past 23 years.

 

My comment: I said I have intimate relations with most of my clients sometimes intimacy is with touch and other times just in conversation. Your idea that sex surrogacy equals sexual penetration is based on ignorance that there is only one way to be truly intimate. And that’s not true.  Which is exactly what excites me about tantra– it’s a personal practice that builds a field of radiance so you come together at the highest level of your adult developed sexual being. And in the process healing wounds from any ghosts that may exist from their sexual past.

 

 

The Sun:  And while she estimates she has had penetrative sex some of them, she insists there is nothing illegal about what she does.  Mare says, “I earn my living by sleeping with other women’s husbands or boyfriends.

 

My comment: For the record I don’t sleep with my clients.  I actually awaken them to become better lovers.  And then send them home to love  and sleep with their wives.  In fact if I’m working with a married man who is not with his wife in session, I have him visualize his wife while we are doing practices that this might stimulate and focus his sexual energy home, towards her! I am in no way a prostitute as sex surrogacy is legal, as long as it is done in a therapeutic and healing atmosphere.  A clear distinction between a sex surrogate from prostitution is how beneficial the session was for the days and weeks afterwards. That’s what really counts.  I hope to leave them better than I found them.  What did they gain from my teachings and services? Did they heal or learn something meaningful? And will it transform their lives for good in the most joyful and important ways?  That is my aim and intention with each client I see.

 

“People are paying for counseling and to cure their problems – not sex.  I am helping improve and change the sex lives of thousands of men, which means I am also helping improve the sex lives of their wives and girlfriends.  Some women become baby surrogates because they want to help women who can’t have children. In the same way, I feel drawn to helping others have an intimate sex life.  My job is so fulfilling and enjoyable. Seeing my customers leave with a new-found sexual confidence is a wonderful sight.”

 

Single Mare, world traveler, based in Southern California and sees clients internationally conducts around 5-10 sessions online and in person. She sees people from all walks of life. She says: “My clients are all ages, shapes, sizes and professions. They have either been recommended to see me by a sex therapist or former client, they find me online, or they seek me out through tantra and sexual surrogate organizations.

 

“The men generally need help with erection and premature ejaculation problems or have been sent by their wives because they weren’t pleasing them in bed.  Before they see me, they all have an STD test, and must always use a condom with me.  I also have some women come to me. Their problems are usually that they can’t orgasm and have often had some sort of sexual trauma. I show them how to pleasure themselves and make them love their bodies.  Some visit me for a few sessions, while others have a series of 12, depending on the extent of their problems. Or the extent of their desires.  All of my sessions start by chatting, I sometimes touch their hands or rub their feet to help them feel relaxed and comfortable with me.  During the next few sessions I move to giving them back and shoulder massages, so the client relaxes further while talking about their problems. Following that, we do a mirror exercise. This is where the client and I will both take off our clothes and look at our bodies in the mirror.  Usually, they feel very timid about their bodies and find it difficult to look at themselves. But when they realise I am not judging them, they begin to open up and feel confident.  At that stage I move on to front body massages. I take over ‘down below’, showing them how they should be touching themselves.  Finally, it’s time to put everything into practice. This is the stage of lovemaking, so they can learn how to control themselves and solve their sexual problems.  My job is basically to make people realize their problems are not just physical. They are in the mind and have a lot to do with self-confidence.”

 

Mare has not always been so sexually open. At the age of 19, she was raped by a male friend after accepting a late-night lift home from a party.  Too afraid to report the attack, she lost her confidence in men and sex. When she married her first husband, Victor, ten years later, she still could orgasm with him.  She recalls:

“My fear of sex put a huge strain on my husband and I knew deep down it was due to the rape.  I needed sexual healing but didn’t know where to find it. Overnight I went from being outgoing to being introverted. When I did date, I found making love brought back unhealed memories.  When I married Victor, our sex life was never great and after four years we divorced but we have remained friends.  It was then that a friend recommended I start reading about tantric sex and sexual surrogacy.  Learning about this unknown world of sexual healing made me feel that there was hope for me to get my sexual confidence back.”

 

Mare took a weekend course in Tantra Yoga where she learnt about tantric sex, an ancient Hindu practice that concentrates on a slower form of sex. She says, “It was fascinating and during the course I also realised, for the first time, that the rape I had endured a decade before was not my fault. I could enjoy sex without feeling dirty, ashamed or guilty.”

 

She continued studying tantra and was certified in two lineages one being The Source School of Tantra Yoga where she studied with Charles and Caroline Muir for several years; and the other Ipsalu-Tantra Kriya Yoga.

 

She also did a two year long training program with Dr. Michael Perry MFCC in Southern California where she developed the skills of sex surrogacy practices and worked with his patients.  She even produced a video with him called ‘Sexual Secrets, A Sex Surrogates Guide to Great Sex’.

 

Now, Mare spends most of her time writing and developing content to offer on-line to her growing clientele.  She also offers phone consultations and teleseminars and sometimes webinars to people worldwide. She says, “I see about one or two people a day and charge around $200 per hour. Sometimes I will massage a husband in front of his wife or vice versa, to show them both how to be more sensitive lovers. Then I invite them to join me in massaging the other so the receiver is getting four-hands… and the other partner is learning a great deal.  Often, couples find just talking openly to a third person about the problems in their love life helps in the bedroom.”

 

Although she is proud of her job, she still finds it difficult to tell strangers and family about her work.  She also does not discuss it with any potential boyfriends until we know each other well.  She says,”I usually tell them I am a yoga teacher, until I trust them enough to tell them the form of yoga I teach.  Some can’t cope with it and run a mile, while others simply find it fascinating and are impressed.  Well tantra is a yoga and so there was no lie in that and sacred sex is just a part of the total Tantra experience. Ultimately it is a path of enlightenment.  A few trusted friends know what I do and my family knows but they rarely ask or want to know much about it. As part of my work, I regularly do sexual surrogacy tours, traveling the world, helping people with their most intimate problems.  The last time I was in London I saw 30 clients, some who had booked me months in advance.  It’s amazing how many people in the UK desperately want help with their sex lives, but have no idea where to turn.  There are many sex surrogates in the US but they are extremely rare in the UK.  People have to understand that intimate sex sometimes has to be learned. It does not come naturally to some people. The stress of modern life can cause problems and it’s my job to fix that.  Since I started surrogacy work, I have seen more than 8,000 clients and estimate that I have had penetrative sex with around 20. And most of them became lovers!  Witnessing the men and women I help make huge improvements and feel confident about their bodies is wonderful.  In the 20 years I have been doing this job, I have never felt miserable about going to work. I love what I do and have no plans to retire within the next ten years.  I am a sexual healer and so proud and happy that I found my dream job.”

End of The Sun article.

 

Looking back on that article now from 5 years ago, I see how much more I’ve grown to appreciate and value the power of sexual healing. When this article 1st came out I went in hiding feeling as though it had disgraced me and my profession. Cosmic going much deeper to understand the work of sexual healing. When you come to understand is that often times the wounds that occur and linger like a shield are often brought up when we try to love another and find ourselves blocked and unable to trust enough to be fully present.

 

Because of my sexual assault experiences from my past I feel strongly called to support others through that personal trauma and I know that often the most challenging times arise when you’re with a partner touching those places that have been charged with fear. What can you do in the moment to find comfort in present time? If you can recall that experience in an environment where you are loved, the experience can transform from fearful and dark to light filled love that be this you in a new light.  Sexual wounds get washed away in the overlay being in the delights of pleasure. It’s like rewiring the brain to associate pleasure with positive joyful love! And overlaying a new association thereby discharging negative imprints and memories with love. Eventually the negative cesspool of shame that’s been hiding in the body gets a new light and transforms. This is the alchemy of sexual energy which I will continue in another post…

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