Sexual Healing : Why we Need it

I used to be oblivious to the orgasmic potential in my body. Unaware of any pleasure past my clitoris and even that sometimes took more effort than it was worth. For the fleeting few seconds of release. Is that all there is?

Relying on vibrators was addicting and the more I used them the more numb I became. I just didn’t know what I didn’t know, which is a silent epidemic among most women worldwide.

Historically, women have been taught that their bodies are owned by their partner in marriage, to give them satisfaction. It was just a chore. So to keep the marriage happy, women like my mom learned to just endure sex. She never really knew its power except as a way to manipulate men to get what she wanted and negotiate she did. Though eventually she turned bitter and stopped playing the game.

The hunger that doesn’t get met, as a result, leaves us starving for the nourishment that somewhere deep inside our body needs to be fed. As a Tantric love coach, I’ve worked with numerous women who cannot orgasm, or so they say. Especially with penetration sex with a partner if he is on his own rhythm woman gets left in the dust as he gallops along to the finishing line.

So why are we not feeling met and what’s missing I’ve asked myself this question so many ways this timely answer comes to me in the awakening of my own great sea of possibilities.  I think I speak for many women when I say that intercourse is not so exciting, kind of numb, or even painful when I allow myself to feel without a few drinks to numb out once more… I hear that story time after time and then I realize why women “fake it”. This short-circuits the experience and keeps it at a very low vibrational survival level which causes such a deep void between men and women.

If men only knew where women could take to they would bow on their knees and serve her as the Creatress of life. The womb of a woman is the creative power source that can activate into whirlwinds of swirls bursting through the body, in bubbles of light. Exhilarating absolutely! Uplifting and inspiring giving energy and receiving blessings as the gift of the exchange. Tantric orgasm is like tapping into the source of life itself.

We can meet in the middle. In a woman’s flow, slower is often more valuable and rewarding like the rich maturation of fine wine.

That’s where tantra comes in blending the masculine and feminine energies so we need to heal and understand each other inside and out. Your inner standing connects us to the center where we meet physically, consciously and emotionally as well as physically in the world.

Because when we meet in the middle we’re both nourished in a way that leaves us better than started like that quality of love is an elixir from the heavens.

So as we think so we experience. On some level I think all women at some point in their life feel these deep yearning desires that don’t get met.

Fleeting is the pleasure that stimulation of the clitoris can bring. As wonderful as it is for those few seconds, then there’s a quick decline in arousal overshadowed by hypersensitivity, where it’s too sensitive to touch for a while. This is much like a man feels after he’s climaxed before he zones out to sleep.

But for women it’s just the beginning of her sexual pleasure potential, even if she doesn’t know anything beyond her clitoris, her love tunnel will nudge her every now and again to remind her that there’s more pleasure inside even if it’s hard to find. That was my experience until I was shown how to discover my Om zone portal of pleasure as a cosmic, multidimensional, richly delicious portal where time stands still in the quivering pulses of life.

Since then I’ve found that a clitoral orgasm is like the doorbell that if you bring it right, it opens the sacred gates to her temple of love inside. To get a woman to fully expand and receive the fullest effects of your love, you have got to take your time and activate all her centers and erogenous zones. From the outside in, to all the internal sweet spots too. G-Spot and OMG-Spot [aka cervix] in particular.

Tantra says that women can be be multi-orgasmic! That brings up the question why do so many women feel numb, frustrated, and disinterested in sex?

Statistics show us that nearly 70% of women have difficulties achieving a deeply satisfying orgasm with penetration!  Many women are so attached to their clitoral vibrator stimulators that they don’t know what they’re missing on the inside.

Problem with the vibrator is that it creates a short-circuit to pleasure after it reaches a peak and eventually causes more numbness and hyper-sensitivity; unless it’s used very lightly like a hot spice. Many women that I work with tell me that orgasm during intercourse is hit and miss, at best. Often it’s either numb or in some degree of pain.

This can be devastating when we told it’s supposed to be a place of amazing pleasure. Why is it numb??  What’s wrong with this picture! What can we do about it?

It naturally takes women longer to reach their highest pleasure peaks and some may worry that their man won’t last long enough for her to be satisfied and reach her highest heaven inside.

Her concern fuels the problem and makes it all the more challenging, because stress, anxiety, and worry are orgasms enemies. They activate the fight or flight response which you don’t want in the bedroom.

Men are hard-wired to naturally come quick to insure that they sow their seeds and procreate the species. So when testosterone is high the urge to release is very difficult to control.

But Tantra has a solution for that to train a man to expand and become more multi-orgasmic too!

But to reach the most sublime states of intimacy, men need to learn how to at least slow down and enjoy the journey more, so his Queen can relax, open fully and receive more deeply.

I can identify with this as I was one of many women who couldn’t reliably climax with a partner. I felt broken with frustration, pressure and anxiety which exasperated the situation.

It burdens the relationship when women put this responsibility entirely their partner to be their healer and awakener. Yet it’s been a part of our cultural conditioning that men take the initiative in sex.  In this case learning to read her body language is essential as the body expressions and positions can say much more than words. Breath and sounds of her body are good cues to follow. When you breath in sync, you start to feel each other more.

Then enter the realm of sounds and see what unfolds…

Unless your partner is a trained sexual healer, it’s important for women know her own body enough that she can tap into her O-Zone within her body. Share it. Invest in it so it may grow.

Then she can educate her partner, if he’s willing to follow her lead.  I can assure you it’s worth the journey even if it feels vulnerable and scary. That’s when the deepest transformations can take place.

Here’s a massage tool that can help open the gates of Heaven by releasing and dearmoring numbness and pain, with conscious love.

Cervix wand-  Click on the image to see more….

Click on this link to see this tool and how to get it for yourself. Or for a friend...

Click on this link to see this tool and how to get it for yourself. Or for a friend…

Classes in Tantra Touch for Healing and Empowerment coming this Fall, 2022 

Cervical Orgasms: Why MOST Women don’t have them, yet

Mysteries of the OM-Zone:  Orgasmic Magic Os

As a pleasure explorer, yearning to feel pleasure. Post-rape and numbness from years of premature penetration, I’ve experienced a wide range from numb to pain to ultimately reclaim my body as a sacred space of pleasure and love.

 Orgasms felt close and then they’d would slip away. I was afraid to let go, it seemed the harder I tried, the more elusive vaginal orgasm became.  Frustrating to feel pleasure for an instant and then it disappears before I can fully immerse myself in it
I had fleeting clitoral peaks, but they are not very satisfying alone, in the long run.
I was shown how to find my G spot. It continues to come alive over the years.
Penetration sex was my edge. I was usually guarded because of unreleased traumas that inhibited me from being present to pleasure.
My partner would constantly command me to me, be present. Being present to me, often meant feeling pain with penetration. So I disassociated from the scene in order to avoid the emotions buried there.
I’ve had some numerous traumas surrounding my sexuality and my sex organs. Including medical procedures, so my cervix was an unfriendly place for me. But I’d heard of the magical orgasms there so I was willing to plow through the muck to get to the good stuff.
I touched my cervix with my fingers the first time and was in awe at the smooth silky texture and the consciousness that lured me in.
Surprised I didn’t know my fingers were even long enough to reach the depths of my vagina.
My uterus moves and adjusts downward to meet a point of penetration which intensifies sensations. I’ve heard it called the cervical kiss.
Certain positions can help provide the most satisfying contact sometimes with a woman squatting on top so she can find the right depth of contact and angle…
It was exciting to meet it directly and to be so intimate with this part of me I rarely ever see.
So delicate and pink.  Touch in a squatting position. Cupping so it’s easy to reach.
Hmmm just speaking of it makes me feel electrified it’s like an engine inside it gets flipped on when attention is brought to it in honoring inviting ways. Memories of pleasure lie deep within my yoni walls, to the core. Calling in explorers to dive deep with me, in Tantric seas!
What hides in your love tunnel that needs to be cleared? Clear it. Make room for love and pleasure there and everywhere.
To get real, vulnerable, and intimate with you I gotta tell you something that I have experienced lately with some really deep orgasms that I feel have transformed my mind and body relationship.
There were a few rare, mind-blowing experiences where I learned to really open up and relax inside. It was then when I noticed that I had been contracted, chronically. Protecting what was violated.  My history of rape and numbing sex molded my relationship with my body and with men as well.

Sexual trauma can shut us down from knowing and enjoying our bodies to their fullest potential. 

In women, our deepest longest and strongest orgasms come from opening and being touched to the core.
  This pleasure fills my pelvic bowl and overflows right up into my crown and down again.
The Orgasmic Magic Zone
I went through the layers over years of sexual healing, clearing shame until my yoni was fully open and orgasmic.
It was amazing like something inside me woke up and I was filled with waves and tingles of energy
with even the slightest movements with full penetration.
The most remarkable thing was he could feel what I was feeling which increased my feelings a lot.
We were bonded in this unified field of energy tingles! He called it “Tai Chi sex”. Deep slow and sensual with a timeless sense of relaxed arousal.

I’m exploring the back of my womb with crystal wands to awaken the deepest parts of my cave.

I just got a Cervix waand with a long handle that I love to play with. It reaches deep so easily that I can truly relax and receive the healing waves of pleasure it brings

To massage away scars of sad memories and any phantom pain that may be stuck there.

The last time I did this self-love massage to myself, I felt some tender areas so I moved very slowly.
Allowing stillness to soften the tension and ease the pain. Then I found that with breath
every tight muscle is an orgasm waiting to happen, to release relax and free-up new energy!
It’s like a field rich with possibilities. I never know what I’m gonna find inside.
It’s still new to me to feel this extraordinary pleasure deep inside near and on my cervix.
Having been more clitoral and G spot focused, this is opening up a new world.
I wanna shout it from the rooftops so everyone knows about it too!

“At the back of the womb there lay flesh that demanded to be penetrated. It curved inwards, opening to suck. The flesh walls moved like sea anemones, seeking by suction to draw his sex in… She opened her mouth as if to reveal the openness of the womb, its hunger, and only then did he plunge to the very bottom and felt her contractions…”

Anais Nin, Delta of Venus

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