Peering into the SECRET life of a ‘Sexual Enlightenment Coach’; what do you think?

Is this another salacious Tabloid-ish EXPOSE` or an insightful INTERVIEW with VALUABLE content?

(I took the liberty to made a few edits where needed, to be factually correct. These edits are in Italics so they are easily distinguished.)

The view the original article Click —  Reprinted from UK’s Love It Magazine 12-09-09 by Dominique Searle

Sex Spy meets the woman who says she can improve your love-life,

by “Sleeping with Your Man”

[Mare wonders, “Why do they call it sleeping?  When GREAT SEX can be sooo AWAKENING!!!]

Instead try:

‘Sex-Spy’ meets the woman who says she can improve your love life –

by AWAKENING your man!

It’s a more accurate statement and I want you to know the real truth! Not tabloid-truth!

I just read the interview that was recently published  in Love-It and had to laugh!

It’s racier than what I recall the interviewer read to me via phone, although she says it is the same.  Maybe it’s just more intense to see it in print. At least it is accurate and more honoring than Britain’s feature in The Sun 9/09!  Please comment!!

— Reprinted with a few relevant edits by Mare; from Love It Magazine DEC 2010

(I took the liberty to edit where needed, to be factual and clear. These edits are in Italics so they are easily distinguished.)

For Great Sex…

unwrap me, virtually!

~*~

Mare thinks she offers the perfect

present this Valentines Day:

….Private or Virtual

Enlightening Sex coaching / teachings on

Skype, phone, in person and online…

She has glowing skin,

thick, dark hair and

considers herself to be

the perfect present. The ‘love it’!

Sex Spy thinks that’s quite a boast.

But Mare Simone, 56, has a

very unusual job – she’s a sex surrogate.

Her special talent?

Giving couples the best sex of their lives.

Yet Sex Spy is confused.

She’s heard of surrogate mums,

who have babies for women who

can’t. But what’s a sex surrogate?

Well, put simply, it’s a woman

who goes to bed with a man – in

place of his usual partner – to

show him how good sex can be.

Mare describes it differently.

‘I think of myself as a sex

educator,’ she says, almost primly,

though there is nothing prim

about what she actually does.

‘While not all my work is

“hands on”, a lot if it is.’ Mare

means it quite literally. This is

where normal sex therapy and

what Mare does part company.

She is prepared to touch, tease

and arose her clients sexual energy.

Sex Spy suddenly has a million

questions. She starts with: ‘How

on earth did you decide you

wanted to do this for a living?’

‘When I was 19, I was raped,’

says Mare, unexpectedly. ‘I never

pressed charges against the man

and tried to ignore the memories,

but it affected me deeply.

Before, I’d been sexually adventurous.’

For a long time after the rape,

Mare struggled with intimacy.

While she still had sex, she

couldn’t orgasm and felt

emotionally unfulfilled, even

when she married, aged 29.

‘I knew sex could be better

than that, and wanted to heal the

emotional wounds of my attack.

Then I picked up a book on tantra,’ she says.

Tantra is an ancient practice that

believes a powerful current of sexual

energy CAN flow through the whole body.

The goal [which is highly beneficial to the

immune system] is a whole body orgasm.

It sounds like mumbo-jumbo

to Sex Spy. But Mare swears it

changed her life.

She sought out teachers who taught her

the special breathing techniques,

full-body massage, yoga and vocal

exercises involved in tantric sex.

It also involved learning to

touch [and be touched intimately]

by her teachers and other students.

A door was opening on a new career.

‘I quickly learned the

body is nothing to be

ashamed of, and neither

is sex,’ Mare says.

‘In fact, it’s key to

health and well-being.’

And when her marriage broke

down, Mare spotted an advert for

a sex surrogacy job.

She’d been working as a fashion designer,

but gave it up and started teaching

others how to have brilliant sex.

‘By doing what?’ Sex Spy asks.

‘The way I treat people varies

and depends entirely on their

problem,’ she explains. ‘Most of

my clients are men who have

problems with climaxing too soon.’

Gaining enlightenment

Mare asks her clients to fill out a

questionnaire, then they talk on

the phone. If they then visit her

at her studio, she’ll set a relaxing

scene with music and massage

hands while they chat.

Then, if it’s required, both

Mare and her client will remove

their clothes and sit naked in

front of a mirror. ‘People can be

self-conscious about this,’ she says.

‘We’re taught that sex is

dirty and our bodies are to be

hidden – I try to reverse this.

We discuss how our bodies

look, feel and function,

part by part until we are

at ease with nudity.’

Once the client is comfortable

with her, they might move on to

touching. For a man experiencing

erection problems, Mare might

help him relax using breathing

and visualization exercises.

She may help him masturbate too.

‘It’s not about bringing

someone to climax,’ she says.

‘I teach people how to control

their sexual responses to achieve

+ prolong heightened pleasure.’

Sex Spy wonders if she feels

awkward if a man comes to

see her without his wife knowing.

‘No,’ Mare replies.

‘He’s usually come

to me because he

wants to please

his wife in bed.

I consider it a sacred

trust to help couples.’

Mare charges £120 an hour

for her services and it’s clear

her work invites comparisons

with prostitution – what

does she make of that?

‘It’s very different,’

she says. ‘People who

judge my profession as

lewd need

sexual enlightenment!’

A Sexual Handmaiden…

The only time Mare might have

full sex with a client is when

she’s treating a virgin and trying

to build their sexual confidence.

‘They want me to be their first.

I try to persuade them otherwise,

but if they insist, I’ll do it,’ she says.

Does she get turned on

when treating clients? Sex Spy

assumes she must.

‘I do,’ Mare admits. ‘But it’s in a way that

serves my work. I can control it.’

Mare treats women, too. Some

come to her for advice on how to

orgasm during sex. Others – as

she once did – want to recover

their sex drive after an assault.

‘My therapy connects the

emotional side of sex with the

physical and spiritual’ Mare says.

She loves when, couples request her help.

She once treated partners where

the woman had lost feeling in her

breasts because of a boob job,

making her feel disconnected

from her man.

‘I showed the guy how to

massage her breasts sensually

and she even regained some

sensation,’ Mare says, proudly.

More incredibly, she’s happy

to be there while the actual act is

taking place. ‘I’ll go to a couple’s

home and set the scene for great

sex,’ she says.

‘I’ll put soothing music on,

scatter rose petals in

the bath, and fluff the bed with

cushions, towels and supplies.

I teach them ways to touch

and connect with each other.

And if they wish, I’ll be there during

their lovemaking to give direction

on how to increase intimacy, pleasure,

connection and achieve the best orgasm.’

‘Sometimes I support them as they lean back on

me, or I might massage their back

during intercourse,

to enhance their sensitivity and energy flow.

I see myself as a sexual handmaiden!’

‘In ancient times this intimate type of service

was provided by a highly educated  person

who guided and taught the

sacred arts of love and sex.’

Sex Spy is rather thrown by

that. She thinks it would put her

off.  But one couple even took Mare

on holiday with them so she was

on hand when needed for sexual guidance.

She calls herself a Sex Enlightenment Coach.

Sex Spy wonders about Mare’s

sex life. ‘I’m polyamorous,’ she

explains. That means she has

multiple long-term partners who

themselves see other people. She

feels monogamy would limit her.

Back to that amazing boast

– that Mare is the perfect present.

People do indeed buy sessions with

her as a gift for their partner…

‘If a couple want to advance

pleasure through lovemaking,

I can teach that,’ she explains.

‘It really is a great gift.’

Sex Spy wonders how she

would feel if she unwrapped

a voucher for sexual guidance

this year, and laughs…

But it’s undeniable that there are many

couples who need help with sex,

and Mare – professional and not

at all sordid – is undoubtedly

serious about what she does.

She believes if we were all less

reserved and happy to ask for help,

there would be more sexually

satisfied people in the world,

and so a lot of happier people.

So what’s the best piece of

advice she can give love it!

readers as a Valentines Day present?

‘Slow down,’ Mare says, without

hesitation. ‘Women often let men

take the lead, and men are

hardwired to  procreate

and that’s why they tend to

rush through sex.

Take your time, relax

and enjoy every moment…

breathe deeply, imagine and allow pleasure

to spread through your entire body.’

So there it is – your Love-It

top tip. We wish you a very

merry, sexy New Year!

For more information on Mare’s work

go to http://www.maresimone.com/

Please comment and share!

Thank you,

Mare Simone CTE