A Tantric Sex Surrogate explains how to increase intimacy for more powerful orgasms


In the vast and Cosmo-flavored world of sex tips, there’s an overabundance of technical advice in circulation.

Touch her g-spot like so. Try the corkscrew blowjob. Put a pillow under your ass.

That kind of stuff.

Yet, there’s next to nothing out there that offers advice on how to build the intimacy that makes those techniques actually work. After all, you can only trace the alphabet on someone’s prostate so well without the viable emotional connection that makes it really fucking good … regardless of how fleeting that connection may be.

That’s a problem that Mare Simone solves every day in her practice. Simone is a certified tantric educator, sex surrogate and author who helps men and women learn to clear emotional and physical sexual blocks and view sex as an empowering, helpful tool. Part of that work includes instructing couples and individuals on how to build and maintain intimacy during sex, partially because the ability to create intimacy leads to greater confidence, and partially because more powerful orgasms happen from what she describes as a more “open, vulnerable state.”

Never ones to shy away from anything that makes us come more professionally, we asked her for some tips on how to create the intimate connection that primes us for a better bang.

Become a pro at eye contact

“I love to start couples facing each other, sitting up,” Simone says. “I have them talk about what they love about each other,  what they’d love more of, and what they’d love to experience with each other (like a fantasy or a desire) … all while looking into each other’s eyes and breathing those words in. When you maintain eye contact while talking about sexual desires, it really builds intimacy before the touch, which makes the actual touch more powerful when it does happen. Sometimes when you verbalize what you love or need, it can feel vulnerable or naked. But, it allows you to become open and let love, pleasure and acknowledgement in. That makes for really great sex.”

She also recommends incorporating eye contact into actual sex as well.

“Anytime you touch, touch with eye contact. Make love with your eyes open. It’s so rich … it feels like you’re diving deep into this pool and not shutting your eyes because you’re afraid of what’s at the bottom,” she adds.

But, it’s not like you have to keep your peepers wrenched open A Clockwork Orange-style; she fully acknowledges that there are times when it feels right to close them and sink into pleasure. In general though, she explains that the more eyes-open you are, the more connected you can be and the more powerful orgasms you can have.

“There’s a penetration of sorts that happens with eye contact,” she says. “And it can be really intense when you’re also having sex — it’s like you’re being penetrated from both sides.”

Experiment with face and hand caressing

“This, to me is one of the most beautiful things,” Simone says. “I love hand holding, hand touching, those sort of things. And sometimes when someone touches my face, it just feels so warm and giggly and sweet, like it activates some part of my inner child. That in itself is opening.”

One of the best positions she recommends for hand stuff is to have one partner place their hand downwards, and the other placing theirs upwards on top so they can feel the polar opposite of the other person. Then, from there, Simone suggests you play around with movement in your hands and fingers by stroking each other’s palms, wrists and fingertips. Even though doing this is nonverbal, Simone says it can help couples explore a lot of communication and sensation with each other; something that also works to build sexual tension and make each person feel more connected.

Long, caressing strokes to build tension

Simone is a big advocate of the long, slow, delicate stroke.

“Have one person put their hands up and receive their partner’s touch, while the other caresses their body. Start slowly at their face and, then make your way down the sides of their arms to their chest, finally finishing at their fingertips. Then, with permission, caress their breasts (if they have them), coming down across their stomach to their inner thighs.

Making these long, caressing strokes connects the body to the mind, which makes it much more emotional-feeling,” she says. “That’s where you become really open and the sex becomes really good. When you do this, you become vulnerable, so there’s no real game playing or social scripting of traditionally “sexy” roles. It’s just what you mean and what you feel.”

Do a little dance

On the more erotic end of the spectrum, Simone recommends you build tension and intimacy by dancing for your partner. It can be a sitting dance, or one standing up; a stripping thing or a more conservative one — whatever feels comfortable and gives your partner a display of your body. Of course, maintaining eye contact during the deed can make it that much more powerful.

If you crack up, you crack up. Try not to — we double dog dare you. Even if it’s the more masculine doing the dancing, Simone says the humor of it can cut through to the more relaxed, vulnerable place that makes the body more open for intimacy.

Moan together, in sync

“This can be immense if you can actually harmonize your orgasms,” Simone says. “But even if you can’t, sharing the same breath and sound intensifies things a lot. In tantra, energy moves on sound, so you double the energy when you sound together.”

That’s not to say that spontaneously moaning when your partner does will make you come or make the sex revolutionary … it’s more about doing it when it feels natural to. But, like all forms of breathing exercises, it does really place you in the moment. It’s hard to think about their sweaty, lumbering man boobs or the curious way your dad tries to tell you he loves you when you’re synchronizing your breath with someone while they squirt on your showiest throw pillows.

Sex | Rooster Magazine On-Line December 21, 2016 By Isabelle Kohn


Secrets of Female Ecstasy DVD

with Charles & Caroline Muir

  • Secrets of Erotic Kissing and Touch
  • Facts about Male Ejaculatory Choice, a Key to Creating Maximum Lovemaking Health, Creativity, and Power
  • Detailed Instructions for Female Sacred Spot (G-Spot) Massage
  • Female Ejaculation – The Truth about Amrita, the Divine Nectar

Charles Muir rewired my Body/Brain, with Conscious Touch

afterglowAt the Level 4 Associates Tantra Teacher Training in Santa Cruz, CA mountains, Charles Muir selected me to be a demo partner for an advanced level of healing that he has been researching and developing. It combines the powers of tantric, healing touch with stimulation of various neuro centers in the brain. He’s connecting the neuro-circuitry of the body to the brain to further accelerate the affects of what was already a profound practice into an ever greater expansion of healing through touch! I know that thought creates and attracts so I was preparing my mind and body to be activated to awaken to higher, unlimited version of myself. When asked  do I believe in magic, I replied, ” Magic is a conscious application of the power of attraction in action. Thought combined with highly charged creative, sexual energy is the most magnetic and magical force of all!”

It was a sunny afternoon and we just finished a luscious gourmet lunch… I decided to walk to class to help digest and prepare myself for the demo that was about to blessed me and the classroom with profoundly intimate and awesome  demonstration of the power of healing touch combined with intentions. Strolling downhill from house to the Boulder Creek conference room, I the first called in the spirit of all my ancestors to join me in this healing celebration. I could feel the lineage of my family beginning with my recently departed sister along with my mother and her mother; my father and his mother as well as my beloved Aunt Sadie, who was as adventurous as me. I even called in all my angels and guides. I was ready for a big shift to take place and felt I needed an army of support to guide me.  I was willing and eager to invite profound magic into my body to help me become more fully empowered, heal and awakened priestess of pleasure and the sacred erotic arts!

Upon entering the room I could feel all their energies as well as the support of the crew, 25 of the most dedicated practitioners of the Source Tantra School sitting in a circle with a large bed in the center and beautiful flowers adorning pillows. Anticipation filled my veins and I began to tremble and here at the remarkable conscious preparation that went into making this space sacred. Charles gave a brief introduction to my physical situation – I’ve had fibroid tumors on my uterus for many years which have caused me some pain and discomfort as well as being an obstruction to pleasure.

Presence was palpable as I surrendered into the pillows and stated my intentions and my belief in magic and love combined with powerful intent, he worked on my back at first pointing out the imbalance in my sacral dimples. I moaned as I felt my body let go while he touched places that  harbored pain, numbness and blocks of fear. I melted as he rocked me and pressed on the places that needed conscious contact to release the obstructions. Yes even we healers need healing.

When I rolled over my mind and body were over receptive to the wild ride that ensued. I felt rivers of love flow through me washing blocks of my past with blessed Amrita, the nectar of the Goddess! Like a volcano erupting, tears and laughter roared through my body uncontrollably as I affirmed that I am abundant and rich in the extraordinary ability call in radiant health, love and support on all levels.

What happened after that is too powerful for words but it rocked the room and everyone in it. Then Charles called in a team of supporters to hold my hands and points on my head which grounded and helped integrate the explosion of light that came through me. They adorned my body with flowers and I felt reborn… I never laughed and cried so much in my entire life! Tears well in my eyes and gratitude in my heart as I share these precious memories with you.


Infinite Waters – blog talk radio ~ Mare Simone CTE

Explore the depths of sex with me:

Click on Logo below to go to the interview.

The Truth Beyond The Sun

Tabloids exaggerate and tell crazy numbers about interesting stories, to get attention. Now that’s just fine with me as long as I get to tell the true side of the story, for those who look past the sensationalism and into what’s really true. 

So what inspired this blog post is that I want people to get to know the real me, beyond the tabloid that spread my name worldwide, overnight, in an a less than desirable way . At the time, I was outraged that my personal life had been so distorted and exposed to the world.  I was bombarded by the media with tons of requests for interviews, TV shows and documentaries. I declined many of them because the intimate nature of my work was personal and private. I couldn’t see it going public. But now I feel blessed and am grateful that I had the exposure.  It certainly opened up a lot of doors for me, however, I just wish it was better now, because it turned my life upside down.

When the the feature article came out in The Sun, I went undergrouond, in the desert, I wanted to make certain that I would be fairly represented because of what I really offer and how profoundly people’s lives are transformed spiritually,sexually, & emotionally because of it.

Inside Edition wanted to interview me, which I thought was great, but only if they got the right angle.  They wanted me to have a client on the show and I wanted to be sure that that would be a safe and respectable environment for her. I had a great female client in mind to show another view of my work and its importance for women.  I thought it would redirect attention towards providing women with profound sexual transformations,  a service that is much needed by many women who have had sexual abuse in their past. 

She was a victim of marital rape who eventually left her husband in spite of restrictions of her religion. It would’ve been a great example for other women.  For some reason,I never got called back after correcting the lies in the article below — which is astounding because is it not equally, if not, more important of a story? I hope to have the opportunity to present this meaningful and profound healing aspect of my work with both men and women.


Here’s what The Sun said — Along with my commentary:

The Sun:  This woman has had sex with more than a thousand men – and most of them are the husbands or boyfriends of other women.

My comment: In truth, I don’t have sex with clients unless it is the appropriate action to assist him in healing or learning and refining his sexual experience as part of a Sex Surrogate Partner package. If he’s married, it would be ideal to have his wife’s approval, but even better, her participation. I love helping couples love & please one another better.  Working with Tantra, there are many ways to exchange sexual energy.  Many of which do not involve any exchange of sexual fluids or intercourse.   When I was practicing as a sex surrogate, I worked as part of a therapy team, usually with a psychologist or psychiatrist on board.  We worked on his entire well-being including his  intimacy and sexual skills.  Occasionally intercourse was a part of their training to help them to hone their skills, become fully integrated and ready for their significant other.

On a few occasions I worked with virgins who came to me to learn and have their first experience.  In these cases,I would have intercourse with the client as their initiation. After several sessions,as the culmination of a series in the art of love and pleasure.

In some ancient cultures from India and several other countries, at the age of puberty, every young man and woman would have a private sexual educator to educate and assist them in their sexual development.  I think all men could benefit from such education and introduction to sex at any age. It’s never too late to start, as long as you’re willing to expand your points of view, tantra can work for anyone of any age. The more evolved you are when you begin, the higher you can soar!


The Sun : Mare Simone, calls herself a “sex surrogate” and has devoted her working life to helping men, women, and couples overcome problems in the bedroom.  As a qualified sex surrogate, she has given lessons in love to more than 10,000 clients over the past 23 years.


My comment: I said I have intimate relations with most of my clients sometimes intimacy is with touch and other times just in conversation. Your idea that sex surrogacy equals sexual penetration is based on ignorance that there is only one way to be truly intimate. And that’s not true.  Which is exactly what excites me about tantra– it’s a personal practice that builds a field of radiance so you come together at the highest level of your adult developed sexual being. And in the process healing wounds from any ghosts that may exist from their sexual past.



The Sun:  And while she estimates she has had penetrative sex some of them, she insists there is nothing illegal about what she does.  Mare says, “I earn my living by sleeping with other women’s husbands or boyfriends.


My comment: For the record I don’t sleep with my clients.  I actually awaken them to become better lovers.  And then send them home to love  and sleep with their wives.  In fact if I’m working with a married man who is not with his wife in session, I have him visualize his wife while we are doing practices that this might stimulate and focus his sexual energy home, towards her! I am in no way a prostitute as sex surrogacy is legal, as long as it is done in a therapeutic and healing atmosphere.  A clear distinction between a sex surrogate from prostitution is how beneficial the session was for the days and weeks afterwards. That’s what really counts.  I hope to leave them better than I found them.  What did they gain from my teachings and services? Did they heal or learn something meaningful? And will it transform their lives for good in the most joyful and important ways?  That is my aim and intention with each client I see.


“People are paying for counseling and to cure their problems – not sex.  I am helping improve and change the sex lives of thousands of men, which means I am also helping improve the sex lives of their wives and girlfriends.  Some women become baby surrogates because they want to help women who can’t have children. In the same way, I feel drawn to helping others have an intimate sex life.  My job is so fulfilling and enjoyable. Seeing my customers leave with a new-found sexual confidence is a wonderful sight.”


Single Mare, world traveler, based in Southern California and sees clients internationally conducts around 5-10 sessions online and in person. She sees people from all walks of life. She says: “My clients are all ages, shapes, sizes and professions. They have either been recommended to see me by a sex therapist or former client, they find me online, or they seek me out through tantra and sexual surrogate organizations.


“The men generally need help with erection and premature ejaculation problems or have been sent by their wives because they weren’t pleasing them in bed.  Before they see me, they all have an STD test, and must always use a condom with me.  I also have some women come to me. Their problems are usually that they can’t orgasm and have often had some sort of sexual trauma. I show them how to pleasure themselves and make them love their bodies.  Some visit me for a few sessions, while others have a series of 12, depending on the extent of their problems. Or the extent of their desires.  All of my sessions start by chatting, I sometimes touch their hands or rub their feet to help them feel relaxed and comfortable with me.  During the next few sessions I move to giving them back and shoulder massages, so the client relaxes further while talking about their problems. Following that, we do a mirror exercise. This is where the client and I will both take off our clothes and look at our bodies in the mirror.  Usually, they feel very timid about their bodies and find it difficult to look at themselves. But when they realise I am not judging them, they begin to open up and feel confident.  At that stage I move on to front body massages. I take over ‘down below’, showing them how they should be touching themselves.  Finally, it’s time to put everything into practice. This is the stage of lovemaking, so they can learn how to control themselves and solve their sexual problems.  My job is basically to make people realize their problems are not just physical. They are in the mind and have a lot to do with self-confidence.”


Mare has not always been so sexually open. At the age of 19, she was raped by a male friend after accepting a late-night lift home from a party.  Too afraid to report the attack, she lost her confidence in men and sex. When she married her first husband, Victor, ten years later, she still could orgasm with him.  She recalls:

“My fear of sex put a huge strain on my husband and I knew deep down it was due to the rape.  I needed sexual healing but didn’t know where to find it. Overnight I went from being outgoing to being introverted. When I did date, I found making love brought back unhealed memories.  When I married Victor, our sex life was never great and after four years we divorced but we have remained friends.  It was then that a friend recommended I start reading about tantric sex and sexual surrogacy.  Learning about this unknown world of sexual healing made me feel that there was hope for me to get my sexual confidence back.”


Mare took a weekend course in Tantra Yoga where she learnt about tantric sex, an ancient Hindu practice that concentrates on a slower form of sex. She says, “It was fascinating and during the course I also realised, for the first time, that the rape I had endured a decade before was not my fault. I could enjoy sex without feeling dirty, ashamed or guilty.”


She continued studying tantra and was certified in two lineages one being The Source School of Tantra Yoga where she studied with Charles and Caroline Muir for several years; and the other Ipsalu-Tantra Kriya Yoga.


She also did a two year long training program with Dr. Michael Perry MFCC in Southern California where she developed the skills of sex surrogacy practices and worked with his patients.  She even produced a video with him called ‘Sexual Secrets, A Sex Surrogates Guide to Great Sex’.


Now, Mare spends most of her time writing and developing content to offer on-line to her growing clientele.  She also offers phone consultations and teleseminars and sometimes webinars to people worldwide. She says, “I see about one or two people a day and charge around $200 per hour. Sometimes I will massage a husband in front of his wife or vice versa, to show them both how to be more sensitive lovers. Then I invite them to join me in massaging the other so the receiver is getting four-hands… and the other partner is learning a great deal.  Often, couples find just talking openly to a third person about the problems in their love life helps in the bedroom.”


Although she is proud of her job, she still finds it difficult to tell strangers and family about her work.  She also does not discuss it with any potential boyfriends until we know each other well.  She says,”I usually tell them I am a yoga teacher, until I trust them enough to tell them the form of yoga I teach.  Some can’t cope with it and run a mile, while others simply find it fascinating and are impressed.  Well tantra is a yoga and so there was no lie in that and sacred sex is just a part of the total Tantra experience. Ultimately it is a path of enlightenment.  A few trusted friends know what I do and my family knows but they rarely ask or want to know much about it. As part of my work, I regularly do sexual surrogacy tours, traveling the world, helping people with their most intimate problems.  The last time I was in London I saw 30 clients, some who had booked me months in advance.  It’s amazing how many people in the UK desperately want help with their sex lives, but have no idea where to turn.  There are many sex surrogates in the US but they are extremely rare in the UK.  People have to understand that intimate sex sometimes has to be learned. It does not come naturally to some people. The stress of modern life can cause problems and it’s my job to fix that.  Since I started surrogacy work, I have seen more than 8,000 clients and estimate that I have had penetrative sex with around 20. And most of them became lovers!  Witnessing the men and women I help make huge improvements and feel confident about their bodies is wonderful.  In the 20 years I have been doing this job, I have never felt miserable about going to work. I love what I do and have no plans to retire within the next ten years.  I am a sexual healer and so proud and happy that I found my dream job.”

End of The Sun article.


Looking back on that article now from 5 years ago, I see how much more I’ve grown to appreciate and value the power of sexual healing. When this article 1st came out I went in hiding feeling as though it had disgraced me and my profession. Cosmic going much deeper to understand the work of sexual healing. When you come to understand is that often times the wounds that occur and linger like a shield are often brought up when we try to love another and find ourselves blocked and unable to trust enough to be fully present.


Because of my sexual assault experiences from my past I feel strongly called to support others through that personal trauma and I know that often the most challenging times arise when you’re with a partner touching those places that have been charged with fear. What can you do in the moment to find comfort in present time? If you can recall that experience in an environment where you are loved, the experience can transform from fearful and dark to light filled love that be this you in a new light.  Sexual wounds get washed away in the overlay being in the delights of pleasure. It’s like rewiring the brain to associate pleasure with positive joyful love! And overlaying a new association thereby discharging negative imprints and memories with love. Eventually the negative cesspool of shame that’s been hiding in the body gets a new light and transforms. This is the alchemy of sexual energy which I will continue in another post…

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

What Happens During Your Sessions?

The path of Tantra is very personal, and since each person is unique, sessions are custom tailored to supportively guide individuals and couples through awakening passion, pleasure and a peaceful state of mind.

The initial session begins with a consultation, which allows us to get acquainted and establish a rapport with one another.  Based upon what I learn about you I will design a personalized program to help you realize and actualize your desires. (more…)

The Unrepentant Voyeur – Nectar of the Goddess

Originally carried in Penthouse Magazine (Mare is quoted near the end of the article)

by Russ Farrell

A cop recently asked me a question. No, it wasn’t what did I think I was doing driving 65 in a school zone. That was a different cop. This one, aware of my connection to this informative publication, wanted to know whether female ejaculation was fact or fiction. The thing is, I wasn’t able to answer his question based on personal experience. None of my sexual partners has ever ejaculated, at least not with me. Some have gotten Wonder-bread moist. A few, I dare say, have even gotten wet. But not a one has emitted that radiant geyser of jism that I’ve seen featured in porn videos. (more…)


You are the most luscious! I so enjoy and appreciate our time together.  Thank you for being with me on my journey.  Your wisdom, guidance, and TOUCH! were magnificent to me.  It was profound. I look forward to more time/energy together soon.

Until our next time……..take good care.

xo JT