A Tantric Sex Surrogate explains how to increase intimacy for more powerful orgasms

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In the vast and Cosmo-flavored world of sex tips, there’s an overabundance of technical advice in circulation.

Touch her g-spot like so. Try the corkscrew blowjob. Put a pillow under your ass.

That kind of stuff.

Yet, there’s next to nothing out there that offers advice on how to build the intimacy that makes those techniques actually work. After all, you can only trace the alphabet on someone’s prostate so well without the viable emotional connection that makes it really fucking good … regardless of how fleeting that connection may be.

That’s a problem that Mare Simone solves every day in her practice. Simone is a certified tantric educator, sex surrogate and author who helps men and women learn to clear emotional and physical sexual blocks and view sex as an empowering, helpful tool. Part of that work includes instructing couples and individuals on how to build and maintain intimacy during sex, partially because the ability to create intimacy leads to greater confidence, and partially because more powerful orgasms happen from what she describes as a more “open, vulnerable state.”

Never ones to shy away from anything that makes us come more professionally, we asked her for some tips on how to create the intimate connection that primes us for a better bang.

Become a pro at eye contact

“I love to start couples facing each other, sitting up,” Simone says. “I have them talk about what they love about each other,  what they’d love more of, and what they’d love to experience with each other (like a fantasy or a desire) … all while looking into each other’s eyes and breathing those words in. When you maintain eye contact while talking about sexual desires, it really builds intimacy before the touch, which makes the actual touch more powerful when it does happen. Sometimes when you verbalize what you love or need, it can feel vulnerable or naked. But, it allows you to become open and let love, pleasure and acknowledgement in. That makes for really great sex.”

She also recommends incorporating eye contact into actual sex as well.

“Anytime you touch, touch with eye contact. Make love with your eyes open. It’s so rich … it feels like you’re diving deep into this pool and not shutting your eyes because you’re afraid of what’s at the bottom,” she adds.

But, it’s not like you have to keep your peepers wrenched open A Clockwork Orange-style; she fully acknowledges that there are times when it feels right to close them and sink into pleasure. In general though, she explains that the more eyes-open you are, the more connected you can be and the more powerful orgasms you can have.

“There’s a penetration of sorts that happens with eye contact,” she says. “And it can be really intense when you’re also having sex — it’s like you’re being penetrated from both sides.”

Experiment with face and hand caressing

“This, to me is one of the most beautiful things,” Simone says. “I love hand holding, hand touching, those sort of things. And sometimes when someone touches my face, it just feels so warm and giggly and sweet, like it activates some part of my inner child. That in itself is opening.”

One of the best positions she recommends for hand stuff is to have one partner place their hand downwards, and the other placing theirs upwards on top so they can feel the polar opposite of the other person. Then, from there, Simone suggests you play around with movement in your hands and fingers by stroking each other’s palms, wrists and fingertips. Even though doing this is nonverbal, Simone says it can help couples explore a lot of communication and sensation with each other; something that also works to build sexual tension and make each person feel more connected.

Long, caressing strokes to build tension

Simone is a big advocate of the long, slow, delicate stroke.

“Have one person put their hands up and receive their partner’s touch, while the other caresses their body. Start slowly at their face and, then make your way down the sides of their arms to their chest, finally finishing at their fingertips. Then, with permission, caress their breasts (if they have them), coming down across their stomach to their inner thighs.

Making these long, caressing strokes connects the body to the mind, which makes it much more emotional-feeling,” she says. “That’s where you become really open and the sex becomes really good. When you do this, you become vulnerable, so there’s no real game playing or social scripting of traditionally “sexy” roles. It’s just what you mean and what you feel.”

Do a little dance

On the more erotic end of the spectrum, Simone recommends you build tension and intimacy by dancing for your partner. It can be a sitting dance, or one standing up; a stripping thing or a more conservative one — whatever feels comfortable and gives your partner a display of your body. Of course, maintaining eye contact during the deed can make it that much more powerful.

If you crack up, you crack up. Try not to — we double dog dare you. Even if it’s the more masculine doing the dancing, Simone says the humor of it can cut through to the more relaxed, vulnerable place that makes the body more open for intimacy.

Moan together, in sync

“This can be immense if you can actually harmonize your orgasms,” Simone says. “But even if you can’t, sharing the same breath and sound intensifies things a lot. In tantra, energy moves on sound, so you double the energy when you sound together.”

That’s not to say that spontaneously moaning when your partner does will make you come or make the sex revolutionary … it’s more about doing it when it feels natural to. But, like all forms of breathing exercises, it does really place you in the moment. It’s hard to think about their sweaty, lumbering man boobs or the curious way your dad tries to tell you he loves you when you’re synchronizing your breath with someone while they squirt on your showiest throw pillows.

Sex | Rooster Magazine On-Line December 21, 2016 By Isabelle Kohn

 

Sacred, Sensual Sunday Workshop in LA

Intimate Tantra Talk & Whole Body O, Ecstasy Breath 

Oct. 5, 2014 Sacred, Sensual Sunday Workshop

 

Calling All Tantra Explorers ~ Couples and Singles welcome!

2-IN-1

You are invited to an afternoon of enlightening Tantra-talk, Solo and Partner Practices, Whole Body Energy O’s ~ Ecstatic Breath Technique to heal, awaken and activate the Whole Body!

Plus a taste of yummy Tantra Yoga Massage – led by Mare Simone, Advanced, Certified Tantra Educator.

 

Delicious healthy community feasting ~ Open to the first 20 who register here!

 

Bring:  Something soft to lie on for the ecstatic breath practice such as: Yoga mat, sheepskin rug or small futon AND sheet, sarong or towel to lie on

 

Bring: Foods to share. What’s your favorite healthy dish? 

 

Please co-ordinate with us so we have a balanced spread

 

Eager to share — looking forward to see you there!

 

Where:

At a private home in Topanga Canyon – Signs will be posted –

Directions and details will be supplied upon registration. 


JOIN US – Sign-up NOW! 

 


 

Secrets of Female Ecstasy DVD

with Charles & Caroline Muir

  • Secrets of Erotic Kissing and Touch
  • Facts about Male Ejaculatory Choice, a Key to Creating Maximum Lovemaking Health, Creativity, and Power
  • Detailed Instructions for Female Sacred Spot (G-Spot) Massage
  • Female Ejaculation – The Truth about Amrita, the Divine Nectar

Seven Magical Benefits Associated With Sex

young couple in bedA long run, a bar of dark chocolate, a hard laugh and sex. What do they all have in common? They are all great for our bodies, inside and out. Each has the ability to elicit feel good body chemicals and reduce stress.

But one of those can help improve your body, mind and soul in seven additional ways. Seven. Which one is it? Sex, naturally.

Having good, meaningful, earth shattering sex can do more for you than just making you feel good. Working towards having a healthy sexual life can ultimately transform the rest of your life. Check out these 7 additional health benefits associated with sex and then hit the sheets and see how you can improve your life

1. Promotes healthy and younger looking skin:
Sex can make you look younger. Forget about all of the expensive facial creams. Thirty minutes of sex here and there can help you look seven years younger due to the growth hormone that is released during sex.

2. Helps you sleep better:
Ever wonder why you pass out immediately after an especially long bedroom session? Your overwhelming sleepiness is due to the oxytocin your body releases post sex. Also known as the love hormone, this chemical is released during child birth, breast feeding and orgasms causing the two involved to feel more connected and simultaneously get sleepy. So consider knocking boots on those nights you suffer from insomnia.

3. Not only reduces stress, but helps you deal with new stressors better:
In the moment, sex can help you reduce stress, but it also can help you deal with stress better in the long term. When you have sex, your body actively decreases its levels of cortisol, a chemical that builds up due to caffeine, sleep deprivation and most of all stress. High levels of cortisol actually make it harder to deal with stress when it comes, thus having lower levels can make you accept stressors more easily and think clearer through them.

4. It can help you lose weight:
Naturally, any type of physical activity is going to help you lose weight, but how many work outs do you really enjoy? Sex can appease both sides of you, the enjoyment side and the side of you that wants to lose weight. So hit the sheets the next time you don’t feel like going to the gym. Check out the caloric sex math and get inspired.

5. Boosts your self-esteem:
Sex can boost your self esteem and confidence in two ways. In one way, sex makes you feel attractive. Here is someone who can’t keep their hands off of you and wants you. That’s a great feeling and can make you feel sexy inside and out. Watching someone else enjoy themselves because of what you’re doing and being able to show someone what you like can also boost your self-esteem. If you aren’t sure what you like, take the time to find out on your own first. Spend some time alone with your hand or a toy from a sex store like Adam and Eve. Then take your new found knowledge to your partner and watch as they light up.

6. Can help you deal with pain:
That same love chemical that helps you sleep better also helps boost your body’s level of endorphins. This happy surge of chemicals works as a natural painkiller, which can help temporarily alleviate the pain associated with headaches, arthritis and PMS. So don’t skip out on getting busy the next time because you don’t feel good!

7. Builds a better connection to your partner:
Low and behold, that same little hormone that’s already done so much is going to help you again. Like I said before, oxytocin is released during orgasm (breastfeeding, hugging, and child birth). It’s your body’s way of connecting with others and creating bonds. When you orgasm during sex, your body releases oxytocin so you can feel bonded to the person who did it. Consider heading to the bedroom if your relationship is feeling a little dull and in need of a pick me up. adameve.com-294

Tantric Law of Attraction – Ritual for Full Moon Activation

lunar-eclipse

Throughout history in many different cultures moon cycles were regarded as times to align and focus energies for fruition in some area. A lunar eclipse intensifies these energies of fruition which make it an ideal time to practice some Tantric sex magic. Tantra offers practices where channeling orgasmic energy has the potential to supercharge our reality with energizing and rejuvenating life forces. The very same life force that created you has the power to fuel your visions with creative life forces.

Channeling Orgasmic Energy is the same as what Napoleon Hill refers to as Sexual Transmutation in his infamous book, Think and Grow Rich – transmuting energy from one area to another or directing the energy to get the most benefit and value from it. In the Tantric tradition, the practice of empowering pleasure with intention, not only gives the pleasure a conscious purpose which has a tendency to increase the pleasure magically and wonderfully… It also attracts and perpetuates the energy of pleasure and positivity which exudes magnetic attraction to everything in your sphere of influence.

We influence our reality by our every thought. Thoughts that are infused with orgasmic pleasure tend to be highly magnetic. So think of what you want to draw into your life with this powerful magnetic field being activated by a full moon lunar eclipse… square Neptune – the cosmic dreamer!

RITUAL:

Begin by preparing your body and your spirit for deep receptivity and magnetizing by doing a ritual cleanse. anything having to do with water is beneficial as water provides us with the state of deep relaxation and peacefulness that will enhance our magnetic field. take a dip in the pool or Jacuzzi or better yet if possible and natural environment like a Lake River or the ocean. A simple shower or bath will also do the trick… before stepping into the water charge it up with a thought that holds the energy of what you want to attract or create in your life if it’s perfect health, make a prayer statement of intention that this water will remove the toxins and purify your body to enable it to establish perfect health… If your intention is to be a money magnet or attract the beloved; let your statement of intention suggests that the water cleanse all obstacles from you and hold you back from having the dream partner, position or whatever else you wish to attract. Then step into the water and surrender to its fluidity keeping that thought in the back of your mind.

Then prepare your body for pleasure by relaxing with movements perhaps some yoga stretches, dance or whatever else puts you in touch with your body. I like to include Tantric massage whether by myself or with a partner. Tantric massage is relaxing but also arousing first addressing any tightness or tension in the body and releasing that. And then by drawing strokes upward and inward toward the major erogenous zones up the thighs toward the creative/sexual center where life is born. Holding the vision of your intention again in your mind what you wish to create gently and lovingly caress your sexual center and your breasts on up to and around your face neck and head, caressing your entire body or your partners if you are doing this exercise with a partner to awaken arousal in a gentle way that encourages deep, relaxed arousal. The more relaxed you are, the more aroused you can be. Relaxed arousal is the magic component that allows your mind to focus on your intention rather than trying to control your Sexual stimulation.

Allow yourself, or your partner to reach a heightened state of arousal through these relaxed, gentle caressing strokes he bringing the intensity up to a heightened state of an eight and pausing to keep from going over the edge. When you have gained your composure continue the caresses with the intent of maintaining that heightened state of arousal as long as you comfortably can peaking several times without climaxing. Each time holding the vision of what you wish to attract into your life in an image that perceives you having this experience right here and now… Holding that image combined with your aroused sensual state will infuse your desire with a high notes of positive magnetic energy…

I suggest that you can enjoy this state of relaxed aroused intentional bliss for as long as you like with several peaks. Should you choose to climax at the end of this ritual, please do so with passion filled expressions of pleasure while visualizing your intention clearly and in your mind as if it were already so.  In the afterglow of your peak use your aroused fluids consciously anoint your four head to imprint this combination will intention with relaxed arousal into the frontal lobe of your brain, bringing pleasure and positivity in harmony with all that you wish for in your life. Blessings and bliss on this empowering ritual! May your desired dreams come true!!

PS:  It’s equally important to drink water that has also been charged with this intention to infuse yourself internally as well in this vision intention. before drinking, make a wish like you would before blowing out a birthday candle and then drink the wish within the water!

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7 Steps to Scorching Intimacy

In the first year of my tantra training

I shared an intensive week with 30 others at a tantra boot camp in the magnetic red rocks of Sedona, Arizona.     We transformed  a former Chinese restaurant with crimson dragons that greet you, waterfalls and gardens to delight your senses… , into a luscious Tantra temple.    Together we did some life transforming work that week.

We were guided in many ‘clearing and reclaiming power’ exercises over the course of 7 days and nights.  Men were encouraged to exercise and nourish their libido by getting aroused and sustaining it for longer and longer periods of time; without ejaculating for the entire week.

Playing at the edge without going over, allowed men to expand their capacity and range for pleasure.  The sexual tension created so much testosterone I was dripping with excitement.

The Big O was an intense prolonged peak which filled me was so much energy it electrified me.

It not only gave us amazing, expanded orgasms together but it instilled an exuberance the continued on days later.  This kind of orgasm leaves a lasting impact of being recharged and reborn!  (more…)

How PE becomes ED …

I’m a 44 year old guy who’s suffered from PE for as long as I can remember and am sick and tired of losing a relationship due to it or even self sabotaging them as its really affected my confidence to the point where  I cant get an erection anymore unless…

MARE: … I understand completely, and in fact it’s not at all uncommon. When you understand the psychology behind these two conditions and how they seem to feed upon one another, that cycle can be broken for you, once and for all.  As we are learning from the power of attraction, thoughts become things! So if you think about what you don’t want with fear you are still giving it energy; thereby giving it life.  The more you worry about it, the more likely it will affect you. So instead, you must focus on  positive and uplifting thoughts will guide you in the direction you want and not where you don’t want to go. This is is the primary pillar of a four-part foundation system that I can teach you, in depth one-on-one, either in person or over the phone.

Essentially you need to reprogram your body and your brain to respond to pleasure differently. This will take some practice will make perfect eventually, but since this has been a condition of yours for many years, it will take some time and effort to break old patterns. But that’s necessary in order to initiate major shifts  in your relationship to YOUR PLEASURE which I can also help you with.

The secret lies in focusing on what you truly want — instead of what you DON’T want! read more…

Infinite Waters – blog talk radio ~ Mare Simone CTE

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