Enter the Orgasmic Magic Zone ~ OMZone


Illustration by: Shawna X

I had so much fun during this interview, I regret not recording it. Happy with the article Hannah wrote. Enter the #OMZone!

My first pop-culture encounter with tantric sex was—like so many other “edgy” sexual practices, from threesomes to fetishes—during a “SATC” episode. The women attend a tantric sex workshop in which a white-haired woman massages her elderly, blissed-out husband, who, after some buildup, ejaculates into the air and … onto Miranda. Educational? Sure. An accurate depiction of tantra? Not so much, according to my sources.

Tantra as a broader category refers to the ancient practices and customs of Hinduism. Tantric sex grew out of this larger religious umbrella as a form of ritualized sacred sex—one that may have inherited some of its tenets or inspiration from tantra, but which most proponents of Hinduism and Buddhism deny sharing much heritage with the religion. So everything you’ll learn here is in the context of tantric sex as it exists today, casually and unofficially—it has no affiliation with a religion, culture, or organization. It’s a practice that is shared and passed down, and followed with devotion by the people whose lives—and sex lives—it has changed for the better.
I spoke to California-based Advanced Certified Tantra Educator Mare Simone, ACTE a teacher at the Source School of Tantra, who gave me her own definition of tantric sex. “The first words that come to mind are a real, true coming together,” she says. “It’s when women learn to fully feel their body’s sexual needs and desires, allowing them to become much more orgasmic than they usually are. And men slow down and learn how to harness their sexual power so they can ride the orgasmic wave together, rather than coming quickly, which they’re hard-wired to do.” London-based tantric sex instructor Rebecca Lowrie is quick to point out that a tantric experience isn’t just sexual, either. “It’s really a spiritual path that embraces sexuality,” she says. “It’s a path of letting go of fear, shame, and conditioning so that you can be your full self. It provides a framework and set of resources for being utterly present and therefore intimate with life.”

When Mare described her idea of a successful tantric sexual experience, I was in awe. “I think a woman should have at least two, or even three orgasms before sexual penetration even begins.” Say what?! “When the roots of the clitoris are fully engorged after orgasm, penetration is so much more desirable for a woman and much more pleasurable for men. There’s more contact, the vagina is juicy, wet, and might even involve the female ejaculation that can send a man into seventh heaven.” OK, listening…


How all of this actually goes down is both mysterious and intriguing as hell. “I call it the orgasmic magic zone—the OM zone,” says Simone. “It can happen with partners, but also on your own. It’s an erotic sexual meditation, a zone you can feel even before touch begins when you’re in tune with your orgasm energy, through breathing and muscles that pump through your whole pelvic region and make it engorge.” It works for both men and women, she says. When you come this way, especially with a partner through penetration, the orgasm has a deeper, whole-body quality, and lasts much longer, she explains.

“It’s so much more emotionally, spiritually, and physically satisfying,” she says. “You can even go into a deep, meditative healing state. Sometimes old emotional traumas or wounds come up and are cleared through that orgasmic energy. That’s when tantric sex becomes what I would call magical and distinct from just pump and grind, get it off and go to sleep.” Oh, and men don’t necessarily have to ejaculate—but that doesn’t mean they don’t come.
“Really, men should have fewer climaxes and more orgasms,” says Simone, “because if he ejaculates on the first orgasm, there’s nothing left.” But if a man internally ejaculates—yep, that’s a thing, it’s called injaculating—without releasing semen, “he’s reinvesting in his own erotic bank account. That serves him sexually, making his orgasms much more powerful, and even gives him more energy, rather than making him feel depleted and want to roll over.” So really, if that old couple had been properly tantra-ing in “SATC,” the man wouldn’t have shot his load all over Miranda.

After picking Simone’s brain as much as I could, I asked her for a couple of tantric rituals that can be tried at home—alone, or with a partner—for the curious newbies among us.

Beginner’s Tantra for One: Self-Love Initiation
On a day when you want to honor yourself, start a Jacuzzi or bath to wash away the day. Make your bed as you would for a lover—laid out beautifully with candles, towels, or toys. This sets the stage for a special ritual. After the cleansing bubble bath, begin to caress your inner thighs and up and around your genitals, without trying to come. “Just feel what your sexual body center needs,” says Simone. “Invoke self-loving communication.”

Make a yoni mudra (“sacred position of power”) with your hands, letting your index fingers touch right at the tip of your clitoris, and the tips of your thumbs touching over your pubic bone. It should look like a heart shape. “Meditate in that place,” she says. “This position creates a tremendous amount of power, so feel the circuitry connect over your vagina with your hands in the mudra, pumping thoughts of love and appreciation into that area while breathing deeply.”

The next stage might be a massage, but not with the goal of orgasm. “This is like the antithesis of masturbation,” says Simone. “Give yourself loving pleasure with your hands, rather than a vibrator. The beautify is that later, when a woman wants to guide a partner to find those sacred places in her, she’ll know how to teach him or her what her body needs because she listened to it.”


Beginner’s Tantra for Two: Maximum Pleasure
Look into each other’s eyes. Breathe deeply. Take turns caressing each other’s hands one at a time, one finger at a time. Notice and talk about all the feelings in each hand. Then move on to the face. Touch, kiss, and learn about all of the feelings in different areas—the cheek, the forehead, the chin.

“There are so many parts of us represented in our hands and face—every organ and chakra,” says Simone. “For those who like feet, every toe can be an erogenous zone. It’s not about manually stimulating each other’s genitals; it’s about the tender places that need to be touched. These places are hidden some of the time, so they hold secrets and feelings, and can be so erotic when they’re touched the right way, with communication and a lot of attention.”

Pay attention to unlikely locations: The arches of feet, the soft spots between each finger and toe, the cracks of the elbows, the crease behind the knees. Use fingertips or whole hands or soft scratching of nails—use every nuance of touch to create maximum pleasure. Guide your partner to find the maximum amount of pleasure in every place that he or she goes, explaining what feels good and requesting the things you want them to try.
“The exercise is to say what feels good and ask for more of that until you get it right—even if it’s just saying, ‘It feels really good that you want to discover what feels good to me,’” says Simone. The goal of this ritual is to create a safe environment where you and your partner feel comfortable experiencing things you’ve never felt before and establishing vulnerability and intimacy. “When this happens, the depth of connection that can happen is really profound.”

Hannah Hickok headshot

Source Tantra Women’s Retreats

In ancient Tantric traditions, women revealed mysteries of female Shakti. Shakti is the creative, spiritual, and sexual life force energy that, when awakened in you, will bring forth harmony, balance, and the God Essence, which is your birthright.

During the weekend we will gently guide, educate, and initiate you into your Sacred Space, your genitals. You will be in a safe, private, and supportive environment for this awakening and healing, as we birth forth the Priestess within you and assist in the healing of your inner child. Discover for yourself how non-sexual hands-on work with women will assist you in finding your full, happy, healed, and empowered self.

Calendar of All Events

PE to PIE! – Tantra PIE!

Passion Immersion Experience is a deep, fully immersed experience of private coaching and guidance into your personal realms of inner-peace, pleasure and passionate empowerment.

We are all motivated to either move towards pleasure or away from pain. Living in your passion means focusing on what you want, instead of what you don’t want. Passion brings desire and juice that fuels your journey. With passion you can be recharged with exhilarating energy, from your core.

We have all been taught to constrict and limit our pleasure potential. Here you will learn to expand your horizons by releasing whatever holds you back so that you can embrace pleasure and bathe in its sweetness.

This journey will focus on immersing you in all total presence with passion and pleasure we can arouse with an intense focus on your receiving until you are fully immersed in bliss! It’s a renewal experience, like a total cleaning of your body and mind. Creating more space for pleasure is like a full-body reboot which awakens and aligns you with your center.

Being centered and fully present in your body heart and mind provides the greatest opportunities for enormous growth and profound intimacy. Feeling seen and seeing deeply into one another. From that state you will learn how to empower your partner with pleasure…

Women have a vast capacity to dive deep into the realms of unlimited pleasure and multiple O’s. Trained men have this ability too. Most of us never learned how to enjoy intimate and erotic pleasures. And most men need training to be able to ride high waves for a long time!

Explore the inner/outer game of sexual-self-mastery and be filled with powerful rejuvenating energies!

Passion Immersion Experience Menu:
Half day Passion Immersion Experience – 3 hr session & snacks $700

Full-day Passion Immersion Experience- 6 hr session & meal $1197

3-day PIE Passion Immersion Experience & some meals $2997

Healthy meals prepared by my loving hands. Some co-created meals to promote the value of getting rich nutrition for a radiant high libido lifestyle.

**Sexy Super Foods** – Nourishment is an important part of the practice. We will prepare food and eat consciously with highly nutritional, yet yummy super foods that nourish our bodies and give us potent fuel that will enable us to sustain prolonged and heightened states of pleasure-filled energy.

All sessions include a followup phone or Skype session.
Contact me for a complementary consultation and to reserve your space at MareSimone@gmail.com.


Mare Simone A,CTE is a Personal Passion Coach certified in advanced levels of Tantra and Sexual Healing. She is an Advanced Certified Tantra Educator and also certified as a Sex-Surrogate Partner. For full bio click here.

The Sessions – Movie

And What’s it’s Really Like To See a Sex Surrogate

I was certified and began my practice as a Sex Surrogate in 1987. It was a parting gift from my former husband to pay for my training. I now utilize a combination of traditional sex surrogate sensate focus type exercises with techniques which I draw from tantra which raises orgasmic energy to a full-body event.

While auditioning for a sequel to the documentary, The Virgin School, I was informed that “The Sessions“, formerly called “The Surrogate” was soon to be released.  It was already getting rave reviews at the film festivals and I’m sure it will be nominated for Academy awards. I watched the trailers with eager anticipation, I couldn’t wait to see it.  I was already in love with this movie before it hit the theaters!

At the first opportunity I saw it with 2 of my best girlfriends who also provide sex and relationship coaching via tantra and other tools.

We were all moved to tears throughout watching this documentary especially knowing that it’s based on a true and heartwarming story from the autobiographical writings of California-based journalist and poet, Mark O’Brien, who was disabled from polio when he was a child. In his 30’s he yearned to experience sex with a woman. The involuntary emissions he experienced when bathed by his caretaker; did nothing more than humiliate him due to his lack of control. He couldn’t even physically masturbate to satisfy himself. Can you imagine the frustration of being unable to touch your self to relieve an itch let alone a sexual desire! Upon asking his priest for advice he saw a sex therapist who referred him to see a Sex Surrogate.

The movie revealed deep sentiments, emotions, challenges and the complications that come with being physically handicapped. Plus it
gave us an exhilarating glimpse of the triumphs that can occur with such a powerful therapeutic support system as in a Sex Surrogate  therapy model. This profession was developed by Masters and Johnson – sex therapists and researchers, to help their patients develop sexual confidence and skills as well as transform sexual trauma; by practicing with a skilled, compassionate and supportive partner. Traditionally there are 12 or more sessions needed, or an intensive weekend depending upon the needs of the client. The first half is about building a safe foundation with good communication and intimacy skills.  The second half are more focused on sexual practices and explorations which sometimes though not always, culminate in sexual intercourse.

The final session is traditionally a completion ceremony which is a celebration with gift-giving, acknowledgments and appreciation.

In the film only 6 sessions were allowed, I suppose It’s to avoid emotional attachments to one another, but they did become rather fond of one another that she suggested that they end it abruptly after just 4 sessions.

Mission accomplished. He was no longer a virgin. And he did come to know a women in “the biblical sense” and he was certainly better equipped to experience love with another woman, which apparently happened for the last years of his life.  I’d like to read his journals which he typed holding a stick with his teeth to press upon the keys. Amazing, determination to be self expressed!

What I learned from being a sex surrogate is invaluable and I would recommend this service [and profession] to anyone who wants to learn and practice love and intimacy skills in order to become a better lover with greater confidence and knowledge. I have seen many men and women transform their lives for the better by learning how to express their love physically and emotionally. Being their partner in this process and to hold and support them while they heal and awaken is such an honor for me; and a blessing for all. The process naturally creates a deep intimate and safe foundation for powerful shifts and growth opportunities. And although it can get messy in the midst of emotional release and rebirthing, I believe it’s the quickest and most effective way to heal the emotional and sexual wounding caused by abuse, rape, incest, shame and other violations that interfere developing a healthy sexual life.

Knowing the profession as I do, I wish they portrayed a more conscious model of ending the relationship rather than the drama of the surrogate running away to hide her emotions.To me that’s the most pinnacle part of the relationship is learning to and while maintaining conscious love connection. But that’s Hollywood’s version of the story.

In my surrogate practice our last session was a celebration of gratitude for the intimate times we shared. Our last meeting would be often dinner together to close the ties gracefully and wish each other well. Parting tears was a natural side of a healthy process of breaking up. Working so intimately with a sex surrogate, opens many doors and in some cases wounds from the past much like in a real love relationship will surface in order to be healed.

I am often asked the question about what happens if a client falls in love with me or in the event that a mutual love connection occurs between myself and clients. Traditional therapy refers to this as transference and to be avoided. But from my experience it’s part of the process of learning to love and practicing with someone who’s willing to open their heart as well as their body and soul to access the transformational power of intimate love. As long as they don’t ‘fall’ too deep, it can be a valuable part of the process of opening to love. This process which can trigger mutual feelings of vulnerability so it must be treated with extra sensitivity. I have tasted the bitter sweetness of bonding deeply with someone who’s life transformed before my eyes. And have been on both side of the journey so I know how important it is to be treated with care and grounded, supportive love so that profound growth is the outcome.

“Leave them better than you found them…” is a quote my mentor Charles Muir has often said to me and others he trains to be love coaches in his Source School of Tantra. which I am also an advocate of is very similar in many ways to the practice of Sex Surrogacy. They both deal with improving one’s intimate and sexual skills and help people better express their love. I feel blessed to be adept in both areas and am so happy that this service is finally coming out into the light with dignity and respect.,


Ben Lewin


Ben Lewin (screenplay)


John Hawkes, Helen Hunt and William H. Macy | See full cast and crew

The Sessions, a film by an Australian film-maker husband and wife duo, has taken $267,000 at the box office in its opening weekend.

Written and directed by Ben Lewin and produced by his wife Judi Levine, The Sessions is inspired by a true story and and follows man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity to a professional sex surrogate.

The Fox-distributed film was awarded winner of the Audience Award at the Sundance Film Festival this year.


Great interview that made me cry in Dec 09′ issue of UK’s womens’ “Love It”

After the onslaught of being a misquoted media darling last year [9/15/09] thanks to The Sun, I was relieved and honored to be interviewed, for another UK magazine called, Love It”!

I will post a copy here ASAP!

If you have access to this article and can FAX or SEND it to me, I will give you a free 60 min consultation by phone, Skype or in person!!!

Although “Love It” it doesn’t get the same exposure as The Sun does,  because it is not an online publication; I was very happy for the opportunity to clarify and define the facts about my work and education as a Sex Surrogate/educator/activator.

The article was very favorable, though I haven’t seen a copy of it yet… the reporter read it to me over the phone. I was moved to tears of joy to hear her version of my story which was clearly respected and represented me in a light that made me feel validated and elated!

I love my work and the people that I am able to work with and so I cherish the opportunity to express and educate others about sexual enlightenment  in a way that gives them an accurate picture of what I offer and the types of conditions that I have been able to help people improve upon.

While I wait for the magazine to arrive at my doorstep, so that I can post it here on my blog; I invite you to view it on the magazine stands in the UK.

For the 1st 2 who FAX me a copy — you get a FREE 30 min phone or Skype session with me!

June 25-27 — Beginners TANTRA WORKSHOP w/ CHARLES MUIR & MARE SIMONE in Boulder Creek, Santa Cruz. CA

Experience More Love & Intimacy!

I first took this Beginners Tantra Seminar with Charles & Caroline Muir 17 years ago. It changed my life radically in ways in which I am eternally grateful and so I would love to share that experience with you.  Now I have the honor of  co-facilitating this course with Charles.
The beginners course focuses on expanding pleasure, awakening and freeing the female in all her glory and bliss. This course has produced many a breakthrough for women and couples. And profound aha’s for men who want to be better lovers!  On Sunday we discuss the range of pleasure and possibilities for men which continues in Level II and/or private sessions with women graduates of the class. This will be a small, intimate class.  I hope you join us.

Infinite Waters – blog talk radio ~ Mare Simone CTE

Explore the depths of sex with me:

Click on Logo below to go to the interview.

The Final Key

Hear Mare discuss the key to fulfilling lovemaking. (3:12)

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