The majority of women are unaware of their own mystique and sexual powers! In fact most have barely experienced a glimpse of their orgasmic potential. We keep hearing that women are capable of being multi-orgasmic . Yet statistics show us that nearly 60% of women have difficulties achieving even one deeply satisfying orgasm! Why is that? What’s wrong with this picture!
It usually takes women longer to reach their pleasure peaks and so they often worry that their man won’t last long enough for them to be satisfied and reach a climax. This compounds the problem and makes it all the more challenging, because stress and worry are orgasms worst enemy. To make matters worse, men are hard-wired to come quickly to make sure that they sow their seeds in order to procreate the species. They need to learn how to slow down and enjoy the journey more, so that women can too.
I can identify with this as I was one of the 60% of women who couldn’t reliably climax with a partner. I know the frustration, pressure and anxiety this can cause, which exasperates the situation. It burdens the relationship when women put this responsibility entirely on men. Yet it’s been a part of our cultural conditioning that men take the initiative in sex and when left to their own devices and instincts, men have not been very successful yet in finding the solution. Their sexual response comes rather spontaneously easy to rise and easy-to-fall into the abyss of bliss. This leaves a woman feeling unloved and incomplete.
It’s important for women to take matters into their own hands enough so that they can fully understand the pleasure potential that’s within her and how to access it.
Then she can educate her man, if he’s willing to take the adventure with her lead. I can assure you it’s worth the journey even when it feels vulnerable and especially when it’s scary. That’s the greatest healing takes place.
I’d like to give you 3P’s to give a woman profound pleasure: – Presence – Patience & Potency
Presence: For most women erotic interest starts with the heart. She yearns to feel a connection that lets you know that she is loved, desired, seen and really valued for all her wonderful characteristics. The more beautiful and cherished a woman feels with her man, the more likely she is to blossom fully in the warmth of his love. I’ve experienced within myself that when I’m fully present and seen by my partner that intense excitement and incredible sensations can send a flood of warm tingling pleasure; sometimes without even touching!
The connection begins in the brain with the feeling of knowing that she is valued and loved completely which then allows her to easily surrender and let go totally. Total surrender allows her to open herself completely and receive your wildest passion. An artist of love can allure a woman to open and discover places neither she nor he knew existed!
When a man is off in his head fantasizing a scene he saw in a porn film somewhere… or thinking baseball scores to try and last long enough to satisfy her, the key element of connection is missing. Without connection it’s more like mutual masturbation which then reduces the experience to just trying to get off instead of celebrating a loving connection. When a woman feels like she’s just an object rather than a partner, she withholds her greatest treasures of pleasure.
Patience. I encourage women to explore themselves and find their own rhythm and pace so that when met with their man, they can knowingly guide him to slow down enough so that she may tune-in to her pleasurable possibilities. This is especially important in the early stages of arousal when the desire is just beginning to stir and well before she begins to feel defeated. Frustration is toxic to an erotic environment. It comes off as needy, greedy and all about me. A surefire passion killer. I know I’ve been there too.
Start out slowly with the intention to build her desire arousing all of her erogenous zones and make an effort to explore more than the primaries. Delve deeply to discover exquisite pleasures that are possible yet dormant in her, yearning to be awakened. Women need to relax d-e-e-p-l-y and let their bodies feel and respond naturally to arousal. Breathe deep together and feel the sensations grow from subtle to sublime!
For women who don’t know what they like, want or need in the moment, as they’re always different… Don’t be afraid to explore. It’s fun to discover pleasure together and it empowers your man to be your Sex-God! A man who loves you is happiest when he can make you happy! So don’t be shy or afraid to ask what your body needs. Learn to listen to your body and guide your partner to create a win-win. He will thank you! Men absolutely love to serve and please their lovers… Right GUYS?
Making it an adventure to discover and explore and to numbness in the pleasure pain and sadness into joy together! And here’s how you can do it and make fun! You’ll both enjoy it!
Important caveat: being with women who’ve been psychologically or physically abused sexually most likely requires some healing. This could be overwhelming for a partner to provide a container safe enough for her, without getting triggered. In those cases it’s helpful to find a coach or therapist who is qualified to guide the journey safely home.
You can learn techniques of sexual healing that you can use when trauma is activated. This is discussed in-depth in another programs. Private coaching, Skype, Seminars all the way up to Certified Education at the Source School of Tantra.
2/10 women reportedly have been raped or sexually violated in ways it caused her to shut down. I believe many more than reported cases exists and that many women don’t report it because of shame and fear.
The emotional healing take some time and occurs in stages. For some it’s a a short term glitch. Yet other times it a much deeper trauma that stirs up and unravels her family history of sexual abuse down to the cellular level… as was the case in my experience.
I know, this is deep stuff! And it can get pretty scary sometimes. I caution you to get support when it’s overwhelming. But think of it as taking out the garbage. Or healing the wound of the past, with present, patient, prolonged pleasure. No agenda but to help her blossom.
Women’s vaginas are like flowers! Before they blossom they need warmth and time to open naturally with desire !!
If there are glitches in her ability to feel fully responsive, which may be felt as pain or numbness instead of pleasure, know that those are wounds coming up from the past that can be healed in the power of the present.
In extremes or if she’s just been raped, read helpful guide: A Man’s Guide To Helping a Woman Who’s Been Raped by Matthew Atkinson, LCSW
Potency: Here’s some powerful, wisdom about potency. You have a magic wand pulsing between your legs. It’s a wand that can light up your woman’s body and do amazing things to her which can make you light up even more. Also true for or a man if you happen to love men.
Men! Your penis is a wand of light and awesome power. Think of it as your teacher. So study and learn from it well.
Here’s a tip to help you spread pleasure throughout your whole body.
Imagine that your erection is connected all the way down the base of your body to your tailbone and up your spine. Your body is designed so that it’s you can feel pleasure rise all the way up your spine. Orgasms can rise up your spine when your spine is properly awakened. This takes the practice of yoga and stretching, using your spine more fluidly to keep it open to receive this much pleasure. Most men/women have muscle memories that cause tension and stresses which prevent us from feeling full body pleasure. Through massage and active movement of the spine you can begins to raise your orgasmic ability.
My clients tell me that like having a full body erection! I like that image a lot because it gives you 6 feet instead of 6 inches to feel intensely aroused. That gives you a lot more room for pleasure to expand.
So hold the vision of pleasure rising up your spine and when you feel arousal breathe it up your spine… while moving your spine so as to invite the sensation of pleasure inward and upward! The benefits of this are vast as it rises it nourishes the organs in your body. Ancient Taoists and Tantric’s and others have known this for ages.
It’s time we all awaken and discover the power of pleasure within our whole body.
See it in your minds eye rising up through your belly as you breathe deeply into your belly… expand it! Allow pleasure to enter your belly and grow through you.… it starts in your brain. As your thoughts are your greatest erotic trigger. So if you’re good with fantasizing to get off, try this out instead. Visualize your erotic energy as healing light. Let it fill your belly.
Breathe deeply inviting pleasure’s to rise inward, opening yourself to be filled with rejuvenating life forces!
Try connecting arousal throughout your body [or to any part that ails you for healing energy can be delivered there.]You will find that your wand NOW has a wider range of sensations which helps you last longer. And live longer with a whole lotta love and laughter!
So that’s my gift to you and I hope you find it valuable. I’d love to hear your thoughts about this in the comments section. If you’d like more guidance in this journey of awakening, I can be your orgasmic awakener and would love to support your quest!