Peering into the SECRET life of a ‘Sexual Enlightenment Coach’; what do you think?
Is this another salacious Tabloid-ish EXPOSE` or an insightful INTERVIEW with VALUABLE content?
(I took the liberty to made a few edits where needed, to be factually correct. These edits are in Italics so they are easily distinguished.)
The view the original article Click – Reprinted from UK’s Love It Magazine 12-09-09 by Dominique Searle
Sex Spy meets the woman who says she can improve your love-life,
by “Sleeping with Your Man”
[Mare wonders, "Why do they call it sleeping? When GREAT SEX can be sooo AWAKENING!!!]
Instead try:
‘Sex-Spy’ meets the woman who says she can improve your love life –
by AWAKENING your man!
It’s a more accurate statement and I want you to know the real truth! Not tabloid-truth!
I just read the interview that was recently published in Love-It and had to laugh!
It’s racier than what I recall the interviewer read to me via phone, although she says it is the same. Maybe it’s just more intense to see it in print. At least it is accurate and more honoring than Britain’s feature in The Sun 9/09! Please comment!!
– Reprinted with a few relevant edits by Mare; from Love It Magazine DEC 2010
(I took the liberty to edit where needed, to be factual and clear. These edits are in Italics so they are easily distinguished.)
For Great Sex…
unwrap me, virtually!
~*~
Mare thinks she offers the perfect
present this Valentines Day:
….Private or Virtual
Enlightening Sex coaching / teachings on
Skype, phone, in person and online…
She has glowing skin,
thick, dark hair and
considers herself to be
the perfect present. The ‘love it’!
Sex Spy thinks that’s quite a boast.
But Mare Simone, 56, has a
very unusual job – she’s a sex surrogate.
Her special talent?
Giving couples the best sex of their lives.
Yet Sex Spy is confused.
She’s heard of surrogate mums,
who have babies for women who
can’t. But what’s a sex surrogate?
Well, put simply, it’s a woman
who goes to bed with a man – in
place of his usual partner – to
show him how good sex can be.
Mare describes it differently.
‘I think of myself as a sex
educator,’ she says, almost primly,
though there is nothing prim
about what she actually does.
‘While not all my work is
“hands on”, a lot if it is.’ Mare
means it quite literally. This is
where normal sex therapy and
what Mare does part company.
She is prepared to touch, tease
and arose her clients sexual energy.
Sex Spy suddenly has a million
questions. She starts with: ‘How
on earth did you decide you
wanted to do this for a living?’
‘When I was 19, I was raped,’
says Mare, unexpectedly. ‘I never
pressed charges against the man
and tried to ignore the memories,
but it affected me deeply.
Before, I’d been sexually adventurous.’
For a long time after the rape,
Mare struggled with intimacy.
While she still had sex, she
couldn’t orgasm and felt
emotionally unfulfilled, even
when she married, aged 29.
‘I knew sex could be better
than that, and wanted to heal the
emotional wounds of my attack.
Then I picked up a book on tantra,’ she says.
Tantra is an ancient practice that
believes a powerful current of sexual
energy CAN flow through the whole body.
The goal [which is highly beneficial to the
immune system] is a whole body orgasm.
It sounds like mumbo-jumbo
to Sex Spy. But Mare swears it
changed her life.
She sought out teachers who taught her
the special breathing techniques,
full-body massage, yoga and vocal
exercises involved in tantric sex.
It also involved learning to
touch [and be touched intimately]
by her teachers and other students.
A door was opening on a new career.
‘I quickly learned the
body is nothing to be
ashamed of, and neither
is sex,’ Mare says.
‘In fact, it’s key to
health and well-being.’
And when her marriage broke
down, Mare spotted an advert for
a sex surrogacy job.
She’d been working as a fashion designer,
but gave it up and started teaching
others how to have brilliant sex.
‘By doing what?’ Sex Spy asks.
‘The way I treat people varies
and depends entirely on their
problem,’ she explains. ‘Most of
my clients are men who have
problems with climaxing too soon.’
Gaining enlightenment
Mare asks her clients to fill out a
questionnaire, then they talk on
the phone. If they then visit her
at her studio, she’ll set a relaxing
scene with music and massage
hands while they chat.
Then, if it’s required, both
Mare and her client will remove
their clothes and sit naked in
front of a mirror. ‘People can be
self-conscious about this,’ she says.
‘We’re taught that sex is
dirty and our bodies are to be
hidden – I try to reverse this.
We discuss how our bodies
look, feel and function,
part by part until we are
at ease with nudity.’
Once the client is comfortable
with her, they might move on to
touching. For a man experiencing
erection problems, Mare might
help him relax using breathing
and visualization exercises.
She may help him masturbate too.
‘It’s not about bringing
someone to climax,’ she says.
‘I teach people how to control
their sexual responses to achieve
+ prolong heightened pleasure.’
Sex Spy wonders if she feels
awkward if a man comes to
see her without his wife knowing.
‘No,’ Mare replies.
‘He’s usually come
to me because he
wants to please
his wife in bed.
I consider it a sacred
trust to help couples.’
Mare charges £120 an hour
for her services and it’s clear
her work invites comparisons
with prostitution – what
does she make of that?
‘It’s very different,’
she says. ‘People who
judge my profession as
lewd need
sexual enlightenment!’
A Sexual Handmaiden…
The only time Mare might have
full sex with a client is when
she’s treating a virgin and trying
to build their sexual confidence.
‘They want me to be their first.
I try to persuade them otherwise,
but if they insist, I’ll do it,’ she says.
Does she get turned on
when treating clients? Sex Spy
assumes she must.
‘I do,’ Mare admits. ‘But it’s in a way that
serves my work. I can control it.’
Mare treats women, too. Some
come to her for advice on how to
orgasm during sex. Others – as
she once did – want to recover
their sex drive after an assault.
‘My therapy connects the
emotional side of sex with the
physical and spiritual’ Mare says.
She loves when, couples request her help.
She once treated partners where
the woman had lost feeling in her
breasts because of a boob job,
making her feel disconnected
from her man.
‘I showed the guy how to
massage her breasts sensually
and she even regained some
sensation,’ Mare says, proudly.
More incredibly, she’s happy
to be there while the actual act is
taking place. ‘I’ll go to a couple’s
home and set the scene for great
sex,’ she says.
‘I’ll put soothing music on,
scatter rose petals in
the bath, and fluff the bed with
cushions, towels and supplies.
I teach them ways to touch
and connect with each other.
And if they wish, I’ll be there during
their lovemaking to give direction
on how to increase intimacy, pleasure,
connection and achieve the best orgasm.’
‘Sometimes I support them as they lean back on
me, or I might massage their back
during intercourse,
to enhance their sensitivity and energy flow.
I see myself as a sexual handmaiden!’
‘In ancient times this intimate type of service
was provided by a highly educated person
who guided and taught the
sacred arts of love and sex.’
Sex Spy is rather thrown by
that. She thinks it would put her
off. But one couple even took Mare
on holiday with them so she was
on hand when needed for sexual guidance.
She calls herself a Sex Enlightenment Coach.
Sex Spy wonders about Mare’s
sex life. ‘I’m polyamorous,’ she
explains. That means she has
multiple long-term partners who
themselves see other people. She
feels monogamy would limit her.
Back to that amazing boast
– that Mare is the perfect present.
People do indeed buy sessions with
her as a gift for their partner…
‘If a couple want to advance
pleasure through lovemaking,
I can teach that,’ she explains.
‘It really is a great gift.’
Sex Spy wonders how she
would feel if she unwrapped
a voucher for sexual guidance
this year, and laughs…
But it’s undeniable that there are many
couples who need help with sex,
and Mare – professional and not
at all sordid – is undoubtedly
serious about what she does.
She believes if we were all less
reserved and happy to ask for help,
there would be more sexually
satisfied people in the world,
and so a lot of happier people.
So what’s the best piece of
advice she can give love it!
readers as a Valentines Day present?
‘Slow down,’ Mare says, without
hesitation. ‘Women often let men
take the lead, and men are
hardwired to procreate
and that’s why they tend to
rush through sex.
Take your time, relax
and enjoy every moment…
breathe deeply, imagine and allow pleasure
to spread through your entire body.’
So there it is – your Love-It
top tip. We wish you a very
merry, sexy New Year!
For more information on Mare’s work
go to http://www.maresimone.com/
Please comment and share!
Thank you,
Mare Simone CTE
1 person
